To Live, Love Everlasting
by Of Stories Told
Summary: What is left to us, the survivors? When death is all that surrounds us; what do we live for? These questions plague a young man's mind as he desperately searches for a respite, and perhaps forgiveness of those he has condemned. Yet one has to wonder if punishment is truly what he deserves. Perhaps what he truly needs; is simply a second chance.
1. Prolouge

**_Disclaimer:_**_ I do not own these characters, that would be J.K. Rowling_

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**_A/N: _**_As I write the next chapter of O.S.A.B. my mind goes back to a story I wrote a few months prior but never published, it's still a W.I.P. but I thought my readers may take delight in reading of a very different Harry then the one they are used to. This story may be updated at odd times since my focus at the moment is O.S.A.B. but i still hope you all will enjoy this story just as much._

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Harry sang softly to himself as he walked around the bodies of the fallen, their blood soaking through his battle robes as he walked onwards. The air was thick with smoke, fire burned away at the crumbling castle and the smell of burnt flesh hung in the air, seeming to taint all.

He stumbled slightly, and quickly caught himself. Looking down, he saw the bloodied faces of Draco and Blaise. Their hands were intertwined, as if to show that not even death could separate the two. Their robes were covered in filth and blood, yet Harry could not tell if the blood was theirs or not. He smiled and crouched down, running a small bloodied hand across their faces, closing their glassy eyes. He frowned and looked at his hands, he had tainted them; just now. Tainted them with his blood.

He shook his head and stared at the two; if he tried hard enough, he could almost imagine them to still be alive; could almost imagine them smiling at him and teasing him for his foolishness once more. Yet he know that was not the case. He would never hear their voices again. They looked so peaceful in death however, no more pain to be had, no more horror to be seen, they simply laid upon the barren ground, seeming to the world as being slumbering angels.

Harry stood up and kept walking through the battlefield. He saw Hermione's mutilated corpse; Fenrir had found her during the battle and had taken a sick enjoyment of playing with her before ripping her apart; even now Harry could still hear her screams as Fenrir laughed manically, his face covered in her blood, her struggles becoming weaker from blood loss. A bit away from her body laid Ron; his arms were reaching out to her, even in death; trying to protect his most beloved. Harry turned away from the scene, he had been too late by the time he reached them, while Ron had been able to take down Fenrir, a death eater had taken down Ron. The boy had never even known what had hit him, his eyes only looking at Hermione. He smiled sadly to himself; somehow, he didn't think Ron minded all that much; in the end.

He turned away and walked to where the air was most thick with the smell of burning flesh.

There he found an angel; a true saint in the middle of this hell. He smiled softly at the body that lay in the center of the flames; it wasn't burning yet, as if the flames refused to touch such innocence; even after the life in those courageous eyes had already passed. He mused to himself that perhaps magic itself was making sure the body stayed whole; untouched.

The boy had a peaceful smile on his face, his matted and bloodied brown hair lay splattered across his pale face. In his arms he reverently held their sacred treasure, the sword of Gryffindor. Harry smiled sadly as he stared at the boy who seemed to all the world slumbering in the center of the flame. He reached a hand out, careful not to burn himself. "You were so much more then I ever will be."

Once more he turned away from the scene of death. He paused slightly, every now and then, as he saw old loved ones, but he quickly moved forward, caught as he was in all this destruction and chaos.

Finally his feet stopped moving and he stared with childlike curiosity at the pale and prone body before him. A fallen angel; having fell to earth, yet now laid still before Harry, in submission to the young man. Black hair spread across the ground like a halo, long dark lashes covered closed eyes. Harry tilted his head, one could almost believe the one before him to be sleeping, if he tried hard enough, he could almost imagine those eyes fluttering open, to reveal ruby red orbs. Yet once more, Harry knew; as with the rest; these eyes would also remain closed; for one who fought so hard to live, now he would sleep for eternity. His body stilled as a small wind rustled the dark battle robes of the fallen angel.

Harry bent down and placed a kiss on the man's brow, surprised at how cold the skin felt against his lips. "Beautiful Tom… was this truly what you wanted, what you desired?"

He laid his head against the cold chest, where once a heart beat, bringing life to this body, now there was none, not a sound could be heard.

How quickly a life stops, even for one so powerful.

"I would have thought… that you would have wanted more…" he reached out a hand and played with the material of the mans robes. Silk, soft and light between his fingers.

His mind went back to a distant memory, of a young boy all alone. He hummed to himself. Did the man wear such things in order to forget? Forget who he once was?

"Was I a fool, as you are now?" he looked at the man and smiled. "I may be a fool, for I cared for you, till the very end, you were beloved by me."

He sighed and looked up, grey clouds filled the sky, it should have looked menacing, yet what Harry saw was something much different, small drops of rain fell softly on the dead. The sky opened up as thunder sounded across the barren field, as if the world itself was mourning, mourning for the loss of so much innocent lives, of so many needless deaths.

Perhaps it was.

Harry looked at the young man's face. "What did you want in the end? What could you have truly wanted?" he raised a hand and held the cold and pale face; "You'll never tell me will you? You always did like your secrets."

Harry sighed and closed his eyes. "What should I do now? Our world is gone, I can feel it, magic is dying, in too much pain and agony." Tears fell from behind closed lids. "There's so much pain, so much hurt."

Harry gasp and cried.

"What did you all want me to do? What could I have done?!" he shook his head. "Will I always be alone? Doomed to wander?" he smiled humorlessly to himself as he looked at the sky, taking delight at the cool rain falling against his face. "Will you all condemn me? As I have condemned you?"

Harry smiled. "I don't want such a fate." He shook his head and chuckled. "I guess I truly am selfish, as Severus always told me…"

He took out his holy and elder wand, both hummed softly in his hands. "I don't want such a cruel fate…" his voice cracked slightly as his body shook with sobs.

He closed his eyes and held his holy wand tightly, taking comfort from it's presence even as he raised the elder wand to his heart.

"I will join you all instead; there… you can all hurt me as much as you want." He smiled sadly. "I will take any punishment you all wish of me."

He looked at Tom, before looking at all the carnage once more. "It's all that's left… all that I can give you…"

He smiled as the rain seemed to wash everything away, everything seemed to be falling away.

Closing his eyes he smiled to himself before bowing his head.

"Avada Kedavra."

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_**A/N: **I hope you all enjoyed this prologue and will continue to read this story as well. Also please leave reviews if you can, I must admit they do make me smile and bring quite a bit of happiness to me. I hope you all enjoyed the first taste of To Live, Love Everlasting and will stick by for more._

_Till next time._


	2. To Dream a Dream of Love

_**A/N:**__ Finally finished editing this chapter; I hope you all enjoy this since I worry it may not be well like. I hope you all enjoy this chapter._

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_**Declaimer: **__Characters are not mine, they belong to J.K. Rowling._

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The first thing he noticed was the cold, snowflakes hit his face harshly, feeling like millions of small icy daggers falling upon him. His lashes felt frozen shut as a harsh wind blew around his prone form; the sound of the wind was haunting and sent a small shiver down his spine. For a moment he idly wondered if the snow would cover him; would hide his body from the world, erasing him and his sins.

The second thing he noticed was pain. His whole body was burning with it; as if he had been thrown into the very flames of hell. His limbs felt as if they were being torn apart, flesh and muscle being ripped away just to be attached again in a cruel macabre manner. He had never felt such pain in his life, not even the crucatious could come close. He whimpered in the back of his throat, caught in his own personal hell of fire and ice.

A harsh wind blew again, ruffling his hair as more snow fell upon him, after a few moments of this harsh treatment he began to grow more aware. Slowly he breathed deeply wincing at the pain before stilling at a horrible realization.

It hadn't worked.

He was still alive.

He could feel a hysterical laugh bubbling up in his chest and bit his bottom lip harshly as to not let the sound come out. He could feel that his ribs were broken as he tried not to move; the thought of causing more unneeded pain stilling his actions.

Then again maybe he should let himself be harmed…

"How many times… will I have to use that blasted spell before it works?" he croaked before gritting his teeth as a small spasm of pain hit him.

'Fate really must hate me…' he thought glumly.

Slowly his eyes fluttered open and immediately he frowned in utter confusion. He was in an alley in Hogsmeade. Which should be impossible.

Hogsmeade had been the first to fall, after they had captured him. This… this couldn't be right.

He stood up slowly and coughed, grimacing at the blood that tainted the snow.

Yet another thing that couldn't be right. It had been summer not winter.

"Merlin." He muttered. "I must have really lost it…"

He stood up and bit his lip as to not release a groan of pain. He could hear children laughing in the back, and wondered why they seemed so cheerful.

His eyes widened when he caught sight of the blue robes of a Beauxbaton student.

He felt himself grow hysterical; he hadn't seen those robes since 1994… during that thrice damned tournament…

'What the hell?' he gritted his teeth and started limping out of the alley. The energy needed to make it out seemed nonexistent and quite a few times he had to stop himself from falling, or risk never getting up again. His ribs brushed against each other when he moved and blood dripped down slowly from his body, tainting the pure white snow. His right leg felt like it might be fractured, or even broken, but he kept on, not wanting to stop.

He felt as if he was caught in a dream as he got closer to leaving the alley. So many happy and smiling faces. He gasped when he saw a shock of red. Ron and Hermione were standing close together, laughing about something or the other. He couldn't tear his eyes away, they were alive and well… he frowned in confusion as he looked closer at them. They looked young; almost as if they were fourteen again. He couldn't tear his eyes away from everyone. Their faces were so innocent, not yet marked by war; they all laughed so freely, without a care in the world.

Tears mixed with blood fell down his face and landed softly in the snow. The snow fell in soft and gentle flurries, adding a dream like quality to the scene.

He prayed to whoever was out there that if this was a dream; please, don't let him wake up.

Looking down at himself he wondered if he also appeared younger, he couldn't really tell. After third year his body had barely grown, the malnutrition and the beatings he had suffered from at the hands of his relatives robbing him of such a chance. In the end he simply accepted that he would always be short.

A gentle face with flowing flaxen hair looked at him and froze.

He remembered her fondly, near the end she had helped him to hide from… _him_; never asking questions, she had accepted him and helped to heal his more fatal injuries.

"Fleur…" he tried to say, but the words wouldn't come; instead he gasp in shock as a spasm of pain ran through his body. He fell to the ground harshly and couldn't help but wince as he felt one of his ribs puncture something. He coughed harshly and choked as blood began to stain the snow around him.

He heard a scream and wondered if he looked terrifying, with all the blood around him he didn't doubt it.

A flash of light blue reached him and turned him over. Terrified blue eyes looked him over with concern and shock, the beautiful face contorting in confusion and fear.

"'ARRY!" Fleur screamed as she held the bleeding boy. "Who deed thiz to you!?"

Her accent was thick and Harry wondered if her panicking was the reason. Out of the corner of his eyes he could see Ron and Hermione paling as they looked at him. Ron's mouth was opening and closing as they boy watched on in disbelief, his eyes not accepting what he was seeing, while Hermione's eyes were filled with tears as she started screaming for some teachers and adults. Various children crowded around, their faces pale as they looked at him, several screamed at all the blood and more then one vomited at the sight, it being too gruesome for them to handle.

He smiled up at Fleur's cornflower blue eyes and raised a shaky hand to her face. He frowned at the blood he left there, something so kind and pure shouldn't be tainted, especially not by the likes of him.

"I'm sorry…" his voice was soft and low; making the half veela have to bend low to hear him. Her eyes widened with fear as startled tears leaked out of her soft blue eyes. "…'Arry? Don't you give up 'Arry!"

Harry smiled at her as his hand dropped limply to the floor, he could see his friends rushing towards him, faintly he could hear Hermione screaming his name over and over again as the teachers rushed towards him and Fleur, their faces drawn and pale.

He smiled softly at his one time friend, his eyes filling with tears as he looked upon her. "Has anyone ever told you? You look like an angel…" he shook his head and smiled brightly at her, no longer feeling the pain from his body. Instead he felt oddly relaxed and peaceful. "Thank you…"

Fleur held him closer. "Thank you for what 'Arry?" Harry fell limp in her hands, his eyes softly closing; he looked almost peaceful as he lay in her arms, surrounded by blood and students as the teachers rushed forward and began trying to examine him. Fleur looked at him in disbelief. "Arry…." She looked at the small and still boy in her arms; he was pale; too pale. Her body trembled as she began to scream.

"ARRY!"

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The second time Harry awoke was in comfort; he curled into a ball and sighed at how warm he felt. His head lay on a soft white pillow, and cotton blankets were wrapped snug around him.

He breathed slowly and smiled softly when he felt no pain. Testing out his limbs he decided someone must have healed him as he slept.

His eyes fluttered open and he couldn't hold back his gasp of surprise.

He was in the hospital wing. The soft beds lined one side of the wall while a few had their curtains drawn, showing the beds to be occupied. The room held the nostalgic smell of potions and sterile air.

He shook his head in disbelief, not able to comprehend what he was seeing. "This can't be real."

He stood up from the bed, his feet touching the magically heated stone

He laughed slightly before shaking his head, feeling hysteric. "Am I going insane?"

Sighing he smiled sadly to himself; if he was losing it, he may as well enjoy it. His heart twisted in his chest as he frowned. Who knew how long this wonderful dream would last, he should make the best of it. Looking up he walked out of the hospital wing, making sure to be silent as not to disturb any of the other occupants.

He looked at the grand old halls in a dreamlike daze. The portraits looked at him in shock and concern, but he barely paid it any mind. There weren't any children around, making him frown slightly. Wherever he was, did they not exist?

He snorted, that was a silly thought, he had seen them; there had been a large group of them in Hogsmeade.

He continued to walk, his feet taking him to the great hall. He smiled as he heard the soft murmuring coming through the grand wooden doors. He knew without a doubt the sound would become much louder when the doors opened.

Hesitating for a moment he laid his hand on the polished wood and sighed at the ambient magic running through him; gathering up his courage he opened the doors and smiled brightly.

The murmurings had ceased as the students all turned and looked at him in various stages of shock and worry.

He looked around with childlike wonder. It was the same, just like it had been before the war. Thousands of candles floated through the hall in a lazy manner. The ceiling showed the night sky with millions of twinkling stars. His bare feet padded softly on the cold stone and he only just realized he was still wearing the hospital robe.

He looked around in awe and couldn't help but tear up as he saw so many familiar faces, all of them alive and well.

He walked slowly through the hall; as if scared it would disappear should he move faster. Looking over at his old house table he couldn't help but grin when he spotted Ron and Hermione, their faces were drawn in concern and worry; faintly he wondered why. There was no war yet, they were all safe still. He glanced farther down the table and spotted Neville who seemed to be having an inner conflict on whether or not to stand or remain sitting; he smiled softly at the boy before continuing in his walk.

The Hufflepuff's came next. Harry decided that if this was a dream, he didn't want to ever wake up. Cedric was sitting there, moving slowly as if wanting to get up, but not knowing what to do after. His eyes locked onto Harry's and he could practically feel the concern falling of the boy. He stared for a few moments as he tilted his head. The first of many innocents to lose their lives; and yet, Cedric sat there before him, alive and breathing. For a moment he had the strongest urge to reach forward and touch the boy, to see if he would turn to smoke as one would in a pensive or remain solid.

In the years that followed after the tournament, he'd always wonder about this innocent boy; wonder what type of man he would have grown to be, whether he would be brave and kind, a healer or an auror. He sighed and looked away; it had been a meaningless death, one of the first he had upon his hands.

Soft whispers started in the hall as students began to look at the small and pale boy in curiosity; yet Harry could not hear them, all he could see was the past and the future, merging together in front of his eyes. Whispers were replaced with screams as he looked on at familiar faces and instead saw how they perished.

The teachers all seemed to be in shock; none of them had been able to move as they watched the boy make his way through the hall.

Everyone seemed so still to Harry, as if they were under an enchantment.

He walked slowly to the ravenclaws and smiled at the angel sitting with them. Her flaxen hair shimmered as it flowed around her delicate face.

She looked at him with a small frown, concern flashing through her eyes. He smiled sadly as he stared at her. His only confident as the war grew harsher and colder, more times then not she had saved him from himself. Even here, she had saved him once more. He tilted his head and stared at her curiously. He knew from his youth he'd barely talked to her, it was only after, after she lost Bill in their tragic wedding that the two had grown close.

He smiled softly to himself. She was an angel even now; for she had helped him, without even knowing much about Harry

She too rose slightly from her chair as he continued walking to the slytherins table, much to everyone's surprise.

He walked slowly, almost appearing to be a wraith. Some of the students tried hard not to blink, having a small fear that he would disappear should they look away for even a moment. They couldn't help but shiver as they stared at him; he almost didn't seem human anymore.

Draco looked up at him first, his face stayed aloof but his eyes were filled with confusion. Blaise glanced curiously at the small boy walking towards them from his seat beside the blonde, while he kept his face clear of any emotion, Harry couldn't help but notice how the Italian was growing more and more perplexed.

He smiled and slowly walked towards the two, stopping only when he was right in front of them.

They stilled as they looked up at him, and several of the teachers began to move; knowing of Harry's less then amiable relationship with the snakes.

Raising up two small hands he looked at them with childlike curiosity. They looked so small and young; not yet tainted by the horrors of war.

"So young…" he spoke softly, Blaise frowned and tilted his head, watching Harry curiously as he remained silent.

He smiled innocently at them both, causing Draco to gape at him.

"Po-"

Harry reached up and touched Draco's face, smiling as the face stayed clear. There was no blood to taint the boy with. He sighed softly as he noticed the boy had stayed solid; had not become smoke. Leaning forward he softly kissed the blonde's forehead and moved to do the same to Blaise, leaving them both stunned.

He smiled at them and stepped back.

They would never know.

Never know how much they had helped him.

How much he cared for them.

A single tear fell down his face, and both boys stared at him entranced.

He smiled softly, his face appearing angelic and innocent under the soft light of the great hall, entrancing anyone who glanced upon him.

"Thank you." He murmured softly, his gentle voice sounding like bells on a warm summer day, soft and lilting.

The two boys shook their heads slowly and the enchantment that hung on the hall seemed to break.

All at once students started to talk loudly. Ron and Hermione hurried to him as Cedric and Fleur finally rushed towards him.

Fleur being the closest reached him first as the teachers finally started to move towards Harry as well.

"Arry! What are you doing?" Fleur asked in utter confusion, her hair floating slightly as she moved.

Hermione rushed towards him, putting a hand on his shoulder while Ron looked at him in utter confusion.

Gasping the red head spluttered. "Blimey mate! Have you gone mad?"

Cedric looked at him in concern. "How did you get out of the hospital wing, you should be resting after…" His face became pale as he looked away. "After what happened."

Harry stared at them all in childlike wonder as Dumbledore walked towards them, followed closely by Professor McGonagall. The head of house looked at him with worry; her normally stern expression replaced by one of shock. Dumbledore smiled softly at Harry, his soft blue eyes twinkling yet even his face seemed etched with concern. "A good question Mr. Diggory, Harry… what are you doing out of bed child?"

Harry looked at the man, the wise yet foolish human, then turned and stared at all of the faces staring at him.

Alive.

Foolish or not, cruel or not, they were all alive.

Tears started to fall down his face freely yet he didn't move to wipe them away, his body stock still. Dumbledore stepped over to him, an old weathered hand reaching out as if to steady the young boy. "Are you alright Harry?"

Harry looked at the old and gentle man in confusion before raising a hand and touching his wet cheeks as more tears seemed to leak from his eyes. His eyes widened in shock as he looked at the tear, not truly comprehending anything.

"Pott-…. Harry… are you alright?" Draco asked hesitantly, drawing attention to himself.

Harry slowly looked at the boy and nodded, before turning his attention back to the teardrop on his fingers.

"I'm fine…" his voice was barely more then a whisper, and they all leaned it slightly to hear him better. "I… I've had a very long dream… and now…" he looked up at them all curiously. "I suppose I'm awake."

Blaise frowned. "What sort of dream was it?"

Harry smiled sadly. "It was a beautiful and dark dream." He looked at them all. "Where am I?"

Hermione looked at him in shock, she grabbed onto him, scared of what might happen should she let go. "H-Harry… you're in Hogwarts…" She bit her bottom lip as she looked at the headmaster pleadingly before turning her attention back to the dark haired boy. "Are… Are you alright…" she shook her heard and grimaced. "What… what do you remember?"

Harry hummed and looked around, not answering her question. "The year?"

Dumbledore frowned. "Its 1993 my boy… perhaps we should get you back to the hospital wing…"

Harry swayed slightly; making Hermione tighten her grip on him while Fleur reached out a hand should he collapse. Krum started to move from his seat in concern. "I vill help…" he offered.

Harry smiled slightly and closed his eyes. "The goblet of fire… what happened? Was my name still called or another?"

The all paled and looked at each other worriedly.

Ron spoke first, looking abashed. "Harry… your name and Cedric's was called..." he shifted in shame. "I'm sorry I was so angry at you! I should have known you wouldn't enter your name!" he paled and looked at his friend in shame as he shook his head. "Merlin… If only we hadn't left you alone…"

McGonagall teared up slightly as she stepped forward and placed a comforting hand on Harry's shoulder, making the small boy look up in shock. "Harry… do you remember what happen to you?" her eyes hardened. "Who did this to you?"

Harry's looked at them all before lowering his gaze. "The one who did this?" he hummed softly. "I suppose… he's gone…" he nodded his head and frowned as he tried to move away from Hermione's grip to no avail.

"He's… He's gone?" he frowned to himself and shook his head. His eyes widened as a spasm of pain raced through his chest, he curled into himself, a hand on his heart. Hermione paled. "Harry…"

He looked up at her with pleading eyes, glancing between her and Fleur he gasp. "Help me?" his body grew limp as he collapsed; Fluer moved forward and grabbed him before his head hit the stone while Hermione held his hand as she turned pale in shock.

Krum immediately grabbed Harry from Fleur's arms and smiled sympathetically at the other Champion. "I vill help carry him." He lifted the boy bridal style while looking towards the British headmaster.

Fleur stood up slowly, her small shoulders shaking as she looked at the headmaster angrily.

"What 'appened to dis small boy?" she shook her head, her hands becoming fist in her anger. "Who would do such a thing?!" It had been such a shock for her to see him in their outing. She couldn't help but pale afterwards, had she not looked in the alleyway; had she not seen him. She could still see him staring at her, his small body covered in blood, his clothes tattered and ripped. He hadn't looked at her with lust as many do because of her allure, but rather with a familiar love that had her heart clenching painfully as he looked on in acceptance. She had been so scared when he called her an angel, so scared that he would pass on as she held him…

Dumbledore sighed sadly as he looked upon Harry's still form. "I'm afraid someone wishes him harm Miss Delacour, yet who; I do not know." He shook his head as his face became more aged. "Perhaps we should discuss this at a later time?" he said pointedly, they turned and looked at the students who were staring openly, curious on what had occurred.

Draco cleared his throat and flushed slightly when they turned to look at him. "He… he was acting odd when he came to us… he…he said thank you…" his face scrunched slightly in confusion. "I don't understand why…." He shook his head as he looked at them. "We… we've always hated each other, and he's never even talked to Blaise… why… why would he say thank you?"

Dumbledore frowned. "I'm afraid only Mr. Potter could answer such a question." He motioned towards Krum. "Let us take him back to the infirmary, no doubt Poppy is wondering where her charge has gone off to."

"Headmaster…" Hermione started, looking slightly uncomfortable. "Please… can we visit him?"

Dumbledore nodded. "I believe he would enjoy having his friends beside him when he awakens." He looked at Hermione apologetically. "You two would have been allowed in earlier but his parents…"

She smiled in understanding. "We understand."

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**_A/N:_**_ I hope you have enjoyed the newest installment of To Live, Love Everlasting. I worry that it may not be too popular but I will continue to publish it for anyone who enjoys the tale. I thought I should mention, as with my other stories this will be slash; just in case anyone was wondering. Also please leave a review if you can, I really do enjoy when I get one, they brighten up my day._

_I hope you have all enjoyed and will stick with the story till the very end._

_Till next time._


	3. Dreams of Pain and Sorrow

**_A/N: _**_ Thank you ever so much for the reviews! They cheered me up immensely for this story and I hope I don't fail any of you with it. As I work on this chapter I realize it may seem confusing; but I hope you enjoy nonetheless._

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**_Disclaimer: _**_ Characters belong to J. K. Rowling._

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Harry frowned as his body grew aware to his surroundings once more. 'I really have to stop making a habit of this…' he thought glumly; irritated at himself for passing out.

Sighing softly he slowly opened his eyes. They widened sharply as he stared at the figures before him.

Her hair was a dark red, the dull lighting in the hospital wing made it shimmer ever so slightly; looking like dying embers desperately trying to stay alight.

His eyes greedily ate her up; he stayed silent as he stared in utter disbelief. Her pale and alabaster skin was utter perfection; she looked like a goddess; perfect in all ways. Her heart shaped face was soft and gentle. Her kind spirit seemed to radiate off her very presence. He frowned when he noticed her trembling shoulders. Looking up he saw that she had been crying recently, her large almond eyes were bloodshot; the light green eyes that resembled forest leaves in springtime were bright and shiny. He couldn't help but stare at her in fascination. She was just so beautiful and perfect; better then any dream he'd had of her; of any long forgotten memory. He wished he would never have to close his eyes; only so he could see her for just a short while longer.

How often had he dreamt of her? As the beatings grew worse from his 'loving' relatives; or when he was imprisoned; how often had he thought of how she would look like? Of how it would have felt to be held by her; how often had he wondered if her embrace would be gentle; if she would murmur softly to him; taking away any terrors he had to face. How often had he wondered if she would care for him; and sooth his pain. When they ripped him apart only to cruelly put him back together; how often had he lay there half dead wondering if she would have kissed the pain away?

Slowly his eyes moved to the man next to her. Wild chestnut hair framed a rough rugged face. His broad shoulders were tense and taunt. Harry noted that the man's hands were made into tight fist; to the point that the tan skin seemed to pale. While he wasn't crying like her; his eyes seemed filled with worry. They watched Harry's every movement intently; as if fearing the boy would disappear should he simply look away. Harry swallowed as he looked upon the man before turning away in shame. He had been told too many mixed things; so many lies and half truths mixed in with bright honesty; he knew this person so little. Yet all the same…. He had also filled Harry's thoughts; brave and powerful… Harry had often wondered if this person would have protected him… would have loved him even with all his faults.

They both seemed worried that he would disappear; and yet it was him who should feel that way. These mirages of days he had oft wished for; dreams that would never come to be…. He wanted them to stay more then he wanted air.

He opened his mouth to speak before closing it again and frowning; he wanted so badly to find the right words to say; but a small part of him… the child that had been locked away and forgotten was scared; so utterly scared that should his wording be off; should he sound foolish or incompetent; that they would look at him hatefully; that they would leave and disappear; just to become dreams to him once again.

Instead he settled for a shaky smile as he looked at them.

"How?" his voice was hoarse again; he winced at how much it had hurt to speak.

Lilly gasp and more tears fell down her face as she grabbed him into a fierce hug.

Harry stilled before relaxing into the embrace. While her hold was fierce, it was also gentle; as if she was being careful not to harm him. The soft material of her sweater brushed against his face like a caress; making him sighed as he leaned into her touch. She smelled like potions and herbs, and of lilies. For a moment his thoughts stilled as he smiled serenely. He would give up anything to stay like this forever.

"My baby!" she murmured into his soft hair. Her hands were shaking as she rubbed his back soothingly; feeling pain as she felt his bones under the hospital gown. "My baby boy; what did this to you?!"

Her voice broke as she sobbed again making Harry frown. Someone like her; a goddess in her own right; should never have to cry.

Especially for his sake.

James eyes filled with uncontrollable rage. The only thing keeping him from massacring the ones that harmed his son was that he didn't know who they were. He tried to soften his gaze as he looked at the small and broken boy on the bed. His bright boy… master of pranks and always laughing; always so bright… he looked like a shadow of his former self; his emerald eyes were pained and haunted, a look in them that didn't belong to the eyes of any child; his body was so small and frail; he'd never seen his son look so breakable; and it scared him down to his very core. He swallowed as he tried to gain control of his anger. "Harry…" he tried to soften his voice even as his mind pictured the inhumane monsters that had tortured his son. "Do you remember who did this? Who hurt you prongslet?" His eyes were pleading with his son's haunted emeralds; hating himself for not being able to protect his blood. "Please tell me!"

Harry couldn't help but look up at his father in fascination. His expression was with so much worry and love. His eyes filled with righteous outrage on his behalf. He felt himself tear up and had to blink quickly so that the tears would not fall. No one had ever stood up for him like this. No one had ever cared enough to try and protect him. No one except…

Two pairs of feet padded into the room. "Has he woken up yet prongs?"

Harry's body stilled at the voice; slowly as if in a daze he moved away from his mother's embrace. One more he couldn't help but feel that he was in a dream. A beautiful dream in which he wanted to never wake from.

He looked healthy. His skin tanned and free of scars and blemish. Harry couldn't help but feel surprised at how young the man looked.

Gone was the haggard and half crazed expression that had perpetuated his features before. His silver eyes were filled with life and vitality; he looked sane and calm. His body was healthy, not frail and weakened as it had once been in their first meeting. The robes did little to hide the man's impressive physique.

Harry continued to stare as he became lost in his thoughts and memories.

He saw similar eyes looking at him with sorrow and calm acceptance as they fell to where Harry could never go.

Those eyes that had once haunted his every waking thought.

Eyes that had been filled with so much love and care; even as his sanity had deteriorated.

Harry saw more then felt himself reaching out a hand; panic rising.

_A old veil floated serenely in the dark room; soft whispered voices were calling out to him._

Harry felt himself tear up.

Not again!

He couldn't lose him again!

His attention flicked to the side as his hand dropped down limply.

Soft amber eyes looked at him with unadulterated worry and concern. Light aurban hair fell on dark sun kissed skin. Harry's eyes flickered naturally to the man's scars; tracing them with his eyes as well as his memories. Some seemed different from before; others were new or in settled in a different area of skin then he'd remembered; making Harry frown in confusion. While the man seemed tired, he wasn't anywhere near as haggard as he had last been. His eyes were more alive.

He looked… peaceful.

The tears came before he could stop them as he sobbed. He looked at them all; silently pleading with them. "Please…" he looked around desperately as his shoulders began to tremble. "Please tell me I'm not dreaming…"

James looked at his son with a pain filled expression before reaching out and placing a hand on the child's too small shoulder. He smiled shakily, his emotions overflowing. "No Harry…" he blinked rapidly; trying desperately to stay strong. "It isn't a dream prongslet."

Harry blinked at his father in shock before his face contorted into pure grief; making the adults flinch in the intensity of the sorrow radiating off of the small youth.

He moved quickly into his fathers embrace as he sobbed freely. He wanted to thank any and all deities that existed; he wanted to laugh and hug them all. But most of all he wanted his dad to keep holding him; the arms wrapped around him felt so safe; made him feel safer then he's felt in years.

James held his son tightly; as his eyes filled with pain. He looked at his friends helplessly; not knowing what to do and so utterly terrified of hurting his son; of breaking he already fragile boy.

"Pup…" Sirius whispered softly, not trusting his voice as he looked at his godson; his heart breaking in anguish. "What did they do to you?"

Remus placed a comforting hand on Sirius's shoulder as they watched the boy they all loved cry desperately; sounding so utterly weak and scared.

Lilly ran a hand through his hair in comfort; her eyes filled with tears as she saw her baby cry.

At that moment all four of them promised cold and harsh retribution to the monster that hurt their childe.

Soon Harry calmed down; his tears drying as he felt more drained then he had ever thought possible. He slowly lay on the comfortable mattress, his eyes fluttering close even as he tried to will himself to stay awake for just a while longer.

In all honestly he didn't know what was happening. He didn't know why he was here; why they were alive; why anything was the way it was.

All he knew as his mind closed down and as he slowly entered Morpheus realm was one thing.

He hoped to anything that could hear him; that he could stay.

That they wouldn't disappear.

* * *

Harry kept glancing at his impossible family as he relaxed against the soft pillow. In all honestly they shouldn't exist.

Though he felt like laughing at that thought. For neither should he. He closed his eyes and relaxed in the comfort their presence provided.

His mind was filled with the impossibility of it all.

He simply couldn't understand.

He had spent countless hours imagining it. Wondering how it would have felt to have his family with him. How often had he stopped and wondered if his father also had a dimple when he smiled? If the man had also wondered about life as he watched the stars in the astronomy tower.

He couldn't count the times he had thought to himself if perhaps his mothers green eyes also glowed with magic.

He breathed in deeply, trying to settle his thought as he burrowed deeper into the cotton blanket on his bed. A small peaceful smile flittered on his face as he sighed. This seemed to be a peaceful dream; a beautiful and peaceful wish.

He glanced at his mother and bit his bottom lip as he hesitated. Slowly he reached out and put his shaking hand over hers. She seemed surprised by the contact but smiled warmly at him. He couldn't help but smile back as he marveled at her. Her skin was warm and soft to the touch; she was alive. His mother; a woman he had spent countless nights wondering about was alive.

His eyes flittered over to his father. He looked strong and imposing, his body seemed built for combat and Harry could easily see the auror in him. Remus had often told him as Harry lay awake on warm summer nights how James had wanted to be an auror; to protect others. Looking at the man now; Harry could easily see why. While James gave off a strong aura; it was balanced out by his kind and mischievous nature.

Sirius was dressed in the traditional red auror robes, lined with black to show his high station. Harry couldn't help but smile at that; knowing all too well how the man had wanted to do good in his past. His long jet black hair was tied back, a few wild curls escaping.

Oft had he thought of death. When the Dursley's had locked him in the cellar or beaten him rather brutally he would wonder how Tom planned to kill him. In his more morbid moments he would smile spitefully at the thought of his supposed enemy not being able to finish him off; his relatives were gladly doing that for him. However when he had been captured; the thoughts had become a realty. And not a day went by that he wondered when it would be his last.

The tortures had been so cruel and sadistic. No one but Tom would come by or near him. The man had forbidden them from even looking upon Harry's face. Bella had snarled in anger at the order and suffered a crucatious. Harry quickly figured out she got off simple compared to him. Tom would always smile so gently at him when he entered the small cell. The angelic smile upon his beautiful face would make many breathless with awe; and yet all it did was freeze Harry in fear as he blood ran cold; his body bare besides a few rags his 'host' had given him, making him tremble more from how vulnerable he was. The man would usually make a show of walking around the small youth; amiably talking about a new spell they would be 'learning'. As the torture began Tom would look more angelic to Harry; even as he felt himself loosing his mind from the pain he couldn't help but muse on how the dark lord resembled a fallen angel. He could never tear his eyes away from that angelic visage; and would always note how beautiful the man's smile would become as Harry screamed from the pain; on how his body would almost sag; a peaceful aura filling the dark lord.

And yet… after a few months… the smiled began to change as the ruby orbs seemed to fill with confusion. Sometimes Harry would collapsed on the grimy stone floor; breathing heavily as he warily watched the wand pointed at him. Tom would seem to reach towards him before stopping; a myriad of emotions flashing through his eyes. In Harry's more darker moments he was sure the man had stroked his hair as he lay semi conscious. A strange spark in his eyes. But of what that spark was.. Of what Tom had truly thought. It would forever remain a mystery for him.

Soon after Tom began to act strangely his angel had came to rescue him. To this day he wondered how she got through the defenses, how she made it through the countless wards and cursed that warded his cell door. He knew… there was something amiss; as her face had been pale as she looked at him in shock and relief. There was something missing; a mystery that would never be solved. And yet he couldn't help be relieved when his angel had saved him, had held him close and healed him; keeping watch for any dangers.

After that he didn't see Tom personally till the very end.

Their 'final' battle.

And he was left with a final question that would always haunt him. Why?

Why had Tom dropped his wand as they dueled. Why had he smiled at Harry strangely; as if… as if-

Harry jumped when he noticed a calloused hand gently grip his shoulder.

Sirius smiled at him apologetically as he moved to sit on the edge of the mattress. "Sorry pup; I didn't mean to startle you." His voice was gruff; as if the man had done a lot of yelling recently.

Harry shook his head and smiled somewhat shakily. "It's alright; I was just lost in thought."

Sirius nodded and his eyes hardened with a fierce determination. "Harry… we're sorry if this feels too soon but please…" his face seemed pained; a face of one who had suffered numerous hardships; Harry couldn't help but flinch at the emotions he saw in his godfather's eyes. "Please… do you have any idea on who did this to you?" he swallowed and looked away for a moment. "Who hurt you pup?"

Harry bowed his head; his fringe covering his eyes. Determined not to look at their concerned faces he focused his attention on the hospital sheets; tracing small patterns into the soft cloth with his fingers.

He knew he wasn't helping them at all by staying silent; and might instead be hurting them; and yet he couldn't… he would never say the truth.

Sirius sighed sadly. "Please pup… we just want to help you."

Harry hated hearing the broken tone; it brought back too many memories; memories he had no wish to think on at the moment.

James put a hand on his son's shoulder; hating the small flinch; they had noticed that Harry was wary of people touching him and it hurt. It hurt deeply to think on why their son who used to thrive on physical contact was now closing in on himself. "Please son… we want to make sure they can never harm you again."

Harry hummed softly as he kept his attention to the blanket. A strange idea was forming in his mind; one he needed more time to think on before he actually voiced it. Instead he smiled softly and looked at his father's warm hazel eyes. "Don't." his voice was low and soft, making them strain their ears to hear him. "They can't hurt me anymore."

'Though… their 'others' might…' he smiled at his father as he saw confusion flitter through those warm hazel eyes. His mother seemed just as confused as she reached over; desperate to touch him; to assure herself on his safety.

Remus frowned; wanting to reason with the child and figure out this horrible mystery. "But Harry-"

Harry shook his head and glanced away; his attention drawn to the window as snowflakes floated past as they gently fell to the earth. "Here… what ever happened to the dark lord?"

They all stiffened; as he had suspected them to do so.

James paled and slumped on his chair; his eyes wide with horrible images flitting past too quickly to process. "Merlin…" he breathed; fear gripping his very being. "Was… was it hi-"

Harry shook his head and smiled; too used to lies. "It wasn't him."

They all seemed to slump down in relief; making him curious on what could provoke such a reaction.

Lilly collected herself first. Reaching out a shaking hand she ran her fingers through his hair; making him sigh and lean into her touch slightly.

"The night.. you were attacked." The all paled at this and Harry frowned. So he had been attacked here as well. "He disappeared; no one knows what happened to him."

Harry surprised a snort; there was one man who knew; he felt an old anger well up as his mind drifted to twinkling eyes before he shoved the emotions down and sighed.

The man had been human; just as the rest of them were. His faults were of his own making; as were there's for following blindly.

He turned his attention back to them and his heart seized up painfully at the pure emotions on their faces. His eyes drifted to silver and he had to swallow back his emotions that threatened to flow out. Those desperate eyes were silently pleading with him; begging him for more information to protect him with. He had seen those same eyes on a face so different yet so similar.

He knew if he kept staring his secrets would burst out; he would tell the man everything in order to make him stop seeming so lost; in order for him to no longer look like he was going to fall apart with self loathing.

He opened his mouth to start talking before he paused and looked at his parents. For one selfish moment he decided to keep silent… wanting to keep them as his for just a while longer.

Guilt ate away at him as he laid back in his bed, turning away from them.

The few people he had no wish to lose.

"Please… I don't want to talk anymore…"

He felt his tears threatening to spill as his heart beat painfully in his chest for hurting these people so dear to him.

"Please just let it go."

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**_A/N:_**_ I've started to notice these chapters are painfully short compared to O.S.A.B. and so I decided I'll try to see about longer chapters later but nonetheless I hope you all enjoyed this next installment and will stay for more. If not; I suppose you can consider this story a small treat in between chapters of O.S.A.B. as that one is more selfish in the amount of time it takes up. Thank you for reading this story and I hope you all enjoy._

_Till next time._


	4. What do you see in the night sky?

**_A/N:_**_ Thank you once more for all your kind reviews; they truly make me smile whenever I read your heartfelt words. I apologize for how painfully short this chapter is; O.S.A.B. is being difficult with me and needed more attention; but I still wished to treat you all with another installment in this tale. I hope you all enjoy._

_Onwards to the story._

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**_Disclaimer: _**_Characters belong to J.K. Rowling._

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They left after a few hours, with heartfelt promises to visit him during the Christmas break. Just like before he was expected to participate in the Yule Dance; it was almost humorous to him; how he was expected to do such a normal thing; a dance; something so innocent and simple.

He shook his head as he lay in the hospital bed. Pomfrey had been greatly angered by his disappearance act and seemed intent on keeping him under bed rest for the rest of the school year. After a large amount of fussing on her end while Harry looked at her with wide innocent eyes she finally relented on the punishment; though he was now fully expected to stay in bed and rest as his injuries fully healed. It seems his body had been more damaged then he previously thought; and some of the potions needed a longer time period to fully heal all the damage done. He had noticed them give him a few pain filled looks when a diagnostics was done; and he could only hope that his abuse from his previous life didn't show up. He was not looking forward to explaining that part of himself to them any time soon. He sighed softly and looked around the darkened room. There were no more students staying in the wing; and he couldn't help but feel a bit lonely.

Around midnight he couldn't take the overbearing silence and stillness of the room any longer and stood out of his bed. He glanced over at the medi witches office but there was no movement; showing that she; like most residents of the castle; was already asleep. He grabbed the cotton blanket from his bed and wrapped it around his shoulders for warmth before heading out of the infirmary.

The castle was silent besides the few odd whispers coming from some of the portraits; while they looked at him curiously none of them made any move to alert anyone he was out in the corridors; something he was thankful for. Reaching out a small hand he softly touched Hogwarts walls as he walked through the empty corridors. He couldn't keep the small smile off his face as Hogwarts seemed to embrace him with her sentient magic. He wondered if she knew he wasn't this world's Harry; he frowned and quickly pushed the unwanted thought away; not wanting to think of the implications of that right now.

Wrapping the blanket tighter around himself he slowly made his way up to the astronomy tower; fighting back any unwanted memories this place gave him.

A gentle wind rustled his hair; the air was sharp and slightly biting; noting that winter was fast approaching. He hummed softly as he looked up at the constellations in the sky; his eyes subconsciously searching for the Sirius star in the Canis Major constellation.

Slowly; his thoughts drifted back to the first task; it would be held soon; much to his parent's displeasure. After his… accident; it had been delayed until he was found and treated; some of the judges; particularly Crouch were getting antsy and were eager to have him participate; regardless of what had occurred to him.

He frowned; never say his family wasn't stubborn; they had tried to wheedle any information out of him that they could on what had happened during his two week long disappearance; yet the simple truth of the matter was he had no knowledge to give them. He didn't know why their Harry went missing; he didn't know why he was here instead of their son. A dark thought came to him unbidden and he trembled at the sharp pain of guilt that hit him.

What if… he was the reason for his son's disappearance; because he came here?

A sharp wind cut across his face startling him out of his musings as he subconsciously walked closer to the ledge of the tower. It was a painfully long drop to the bottom; something he knew all too well from…

_He watched in fear and utter disbelief as the great man fell. His long white hair seemed to flow around him as his body slowly descended to the ground; eyes closed peacefully; accepting of their fate._

Without thinking he stepped onto the small fence and looked down at the castle grounds. The fence made a soft creaking noise as it supported his weight; he couldn't help but muse on how frail it seemed for something that was supposed to protect others. He lost his grip on his blanket and watched in detached fascination as the wind carried it away from him; the moon seeming to softly illuminate the piece of cloth as it swayed through the air; seeming to be dancing to a tune unheard.

It looked so beautiful.

He reached out a hand to grab it before it flew too far away; his foot moved up as he leaned over the railing.

A strong pair of arms ripped him from the ledge, making him gasp as they practically threw him on the floor.

He looked up curiously at enraged onyx eyes glaring darkly at him.

"You fool!" the man spat angrily. "What were you thinking?!" he leaned over Harry and grabbed the cuff of his shirt angrily. "Do you honestly believe what you suffered from merits your death? What about your mother and friends you stupid ignorant boy?! Did you even think how they would suffer?"

The eyes seemed to be glowing with a hidden fire, yet Harry barely paid attention to the words, too busy studying the mans face. His skin was pale, but not unclean, his teeth even and white, his nose wasn't as hooked and his hair was actually clean.

He knew who this man should be; who this man was; yet as he looked at the familiar yet unfamiliar face he couldn't help but see someone far different. An old friend in a new face; the thought made his heart ache somehow, as if he was losing someone dear to him all over again.

Slowly he reached up and held the man's face in his hands, marveling at how small and young he must look compared to the other; when once upon a time they were almost equals.

"Professor..." he whispered; his voice slightly hoarse. "Do you hate me here as well?" he tilted his head and looked at Snape with child like curiosity. "Here as well, do you despise me?"

Snape paled in shock and confusion as he looked at the small boy. "Just what are you talking about Potter?"

Harry hummed and slowly traced Snape's face, marveling at the differences he saw there even as the man stiffened from the soft touch. "I was simply wondering… Do you hate me?"

Snape sighed and moved away from the boy's touch. "Regardless of what your father believes in that incompetent mind of his; I do not hate you Potter." He glared at Harry. "However; you may have more of your father in you then I originally thought; to contemplate such a foolish and irrational thing!"

Harry smiled softly at the man; he was glad that some things didn't change. "If you don't hate me, please; call me Harry… when you call me Potter…" he smiled at the man; even though both knew it wasn't real. "I can't help but feel like you're wishing to curse me."

Snape frowned as he studied the small boy standing next to him. Those familiar emerald eyes looked so broken and lost; he couldn't help but shiver as he wondered what had occurred to place such a look on one so young. The boy used to be an identical copy of his father with his arrogant ways and pranks; thinking himself to be above others just because of his hero status; yet now… there was none of that. So many things didn't make sense; how could someone have kidnapped the child in Hogsmeade with no one the wiser; just for the boy to turn up two weeks later in the same village? What was their purpose for such an action; to hurt the family? Lily had been utterly devastated and for once that foolish husband of hers had finally seemed like an adult as he searched for his missing son. He knew they had both spent countless nights lying awake in worry; with Lilly more often then not visiting him when she couldn't take it anymore; her bright eyes dulled and filled with unshed tears as no new leads were found. He grimaced and shook his head as he eyed the child. There were too many things he had to think about; none of which could be done now; not when this shadow of a boy was looking at him with such an expectant expression. For a moment he could almost see the boy's mother in those emerald pools.

He shook his head and eyed the child warily. "Would you stop acting like an irrational fool if I call you by your name?"

Harry smiled softly at the man. "Professor… I will always be a fool." He hummed before giving the man a bright smile, yet once more it didn't reach his eyes. "I can promise I won't try to kill myself again." He turned his head slightly as he stared at the ledge. "Though in all honesty I wasn't planning on killing myself there, I just thought it would be nice… to be up here…" he looked at the silent man next to him. "The stars… they shine the brightest up here; they always have a way of making me feel at home…"

Severus frowned at the boy; his blood growing cold at what the child had let slip. Had he been anyone else then a slytherin he would not have understood the hidden message in the boy's words.

He shivered; the boy had already attempted… but not at this moment; he wondered just what had been done to Lily's son to make him try such a desperate endeavor.

For a moment; he couldn't help but wish that he would never have to find out.

Harry smiled knowingly and took the professors hand in his; grinning inwardly at the man's shocked expression.

"It's late sir. We should go to bed."

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**_A/N: _**_I hope you all enjoyed this little treat and continue to read and experience this tale; to those of you also reading O.S.A.B. I will hopefully have it up soon; once more thank you for your reviews and for following and reading this tale._

_Till next time._


	5. Who Am I Truly?

**_A/N: _**_I'm finally back and able to update the next installment in this tale. Thank you all greatly for the sweet reviews you left me; they all made me smile happily as I wrote out the rest of this tale. I hope you all enjoy._

_Onwards._

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**_Disclaimer: _**_Characters belong to J.K. Rowling_

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Harry smiled happily as Poppy finally gave him a clean bill of health. She did however warn him to come back should he feel even remotely ill. Harry nodded at all her rules; simply thankful to finally be able to escape the confines of the hospital wing. It had been almost a week now and even with his nightly escapades he couldn't help but feel stifled at being in one place for so long. The medi witch smiled softly at Harry; noticing the young boys eagerness to escape and simply warned him once more that he could see her at any time he wished as well, even if he just needed someone to talk to. He had blinked in surprise at the statement before smiling warmly at Pomfrey. It seems no matter what would he entered; she would always remain kind and caring.

It was thanks to her that so many had been able to survive the first half of the war. After the fall of St. Mungos she had used Hogwarts to care for any wounded persons; no matter what side they belonged to. Unfortunately it was because of her caring heart that she fell. A patient of hers had killed the medi witch when her back was turned and escaped from the school; killing anyone that stood in their way.

He shook his head and sighed; trying to get rid of his unwanted memories. "It does no good to dwell upon the past…" He murmured softly to himself as he hurried to the gryffindor tower.

Perhaps one day he could believe in those words himself.

The fat lady smiled kindly at him as he came into view. "You poor dear, you've worried quite a few of us you know."

Harry grimaced and nodded. "I'm sorry." He said softly before looking down at his feet. "I'm afraid I don't know the password."

She tutted at him but her eyes remained soft and kind. "It's alright dear, I'll let it pass this once; the password is everlasting."

Harry nodded and quickly slipped in. Thankfully there were no stragglers in the common room; something he had been secretly hoping for. Poppy had let him go just as breakfast started, perhaps believing that he would enjoy a meal with his friends at this time. While he had appreciated the gesture he was slightly wary of everyone. He wasn't their Harry and was terrified that they would hate him when the truth eventually came out. Therefore he had taken to feigning sleep whenever someone besides his parents had stopped by to visit; even though he knew he couldn't keep it up forever. In the back of his mind he couldn't help but feel that they would throw him away when the truth was revealed, and if only for that reason he resolved to never tell a soul; consequences be damned. Sighing softly he headed up to the fourth year dorms.

He couldn't help but smile sadly at how familiar the room was; Seamus's clothes were all scattered about and Neville had a few plants growing near the window, their leaves reaching out towards the sun. Dean had his trunk open and Harry could see a few muggle magazines inside.

He teared up when he noticed the chessboard on Ron's bed and had to look away before any memories could flash through his mind again.

Walking over to his own trunk he couldn't help but stare at it in awe. The polished wood was a dark ebony and even with Harry's limited knowledge he knew it was quite expensive. The lock was done in pure silver and he was startled to see his initials engraved on the top. He probably shouldn't be so surprised by this show of wealth; his parents were alive after all; it would make sense for his belongings to be better off then before. Hesitantly he reached out a hand and touched the lock; surprised when his trunk clinked open just by the small touch. Taking a deep breath he rummaged through the trunk; curious on this Harry's differences to him. He frowned when he saw how uncared for his school books were, their covers bent and doodles covering some pages. Everything was scattered about messily and he couldn't help but grimace. That was one big difference it seems, after living with Petunia he couldn't stand his things to be a mess and took the utmost care with them; knowing that whatever he was given had to last. He blushed bright red when he noticed a few porn magazines and promptly threw them out without much thought. With all the pressure from the war he had never been able to have romantic thoughts about someone and just the thought of wanking off to an unknown girl in a picture book felt disturbing to him. He twitched and frowned; though it could also be because of the numerous beatings his aunt would give him whenever she found her innocent Duddlers wanking off. It had pretty much been engrained in him that anything sexual would be painful for him. Therefore he never cared to try. After digging around some more he couldn't help but grin at finally finding his invisibility cloak. He let out the breath he had been holding and held the soft material to his face; thankful that something was still the same.

He looked around more but frowned when couldn't find his photo album, the frown only grew darker when he saw a few crumpled up letters from his parents; he couldn't understand why they had been treated so callously. Giving up for now on finding anything else he grabbed a few books he needed for class and put them in his satchel before heading off to the bathroom to prep up before class.

He gaped comically at himself when he finally caught sight of his reflection; Poppy had been worried of him fainting in the bathroom and had cleaned him with a spell instead of risking any injuries; therefore this was now the first glance he caught of himself.

He already knew he was younger, but this simply cemented it. His wild hair went up to his shoulders; the raven locks looking soft to the touch and silky, he couldn't help but smile wryly at the thought that they would finally be easy to manage. His face, which used to be gaunt from being starved by the Dursleys was now soft and healthy. Where he used to look more like his father; now he could easily see the resemblance to his mother, with his large doe like eyes and cupid bow lips his looks were slightly androgynous.

His body wasn't as thin and knobbly as before, but more filled out, he was still slight in frame and he couldn't help but frown in disappointment. It seemed this time it was genetic rather then because of malnutrition. On the bright side his body would easily be able to handle his quidditch position, and he found himself hoping that he was still a seeker here.

He touched his reflection on the mirror and sighed. "So this… this would have been my future… a different world… a different me…" He frowned and looked at himself curiously as a dark though flitted across his mind. "But… this isn't me, is it?" He touched his soft and smooth face, trembling as a dark realization finally came upon him. "This… this will never be me…" He looked at his image with pain filled eyes. "So whose life… did I steal?"

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**_A/N: _**_I kept wondering to myself as I edited this part if I should have included more or not. This is simply a short interlude as Harry starts to wonder just what truly happened when he landed in this strange world; and the repercussions that will result from it. To anyone that is curious; there is more written out; I just decided that the chapter would best be to end there; however should the want be great I can upload the rest in a day or so. If not the next chapter will be out Thursday. I hope you have all enjoyed this chapter and please leave a review if you did; they truly are the best things to see._

_Thank you._

_Till next time._


	6. What Defines Light and Dark?

**_A/N: _**_Terribly sorry that this is late; I hope not too many of you are angered by this. Also once more thank you greatly for all the wonderful reviews you leave me; they make me smile so much when I read them and give me such great inspiration when it comes to this tale. And so I hope you all enjoy this next installment and read on._

_Onwards._

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**_Disclaimer: _**_Characters belong to J.K. Rowling_

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The walk to Defense was more then slightly annoying. Various students would stop walking when they caught sight of him; staring unabashedly; the braver students would even stop him and ask if he was alright, followed by more personal questions. After the fifth student that came up to him and wouldn't take no for an answer, he simply chose to use some of the hidden passageways to get to class; no longer in the mood to deal with anyone politely.

The class was almost filled by the time he arrived, with the only available seat next to Draco. Some of the students looked up at him when he entered the class and began to whisper amongst themselves. Thankfully they caught on to his bad mood and didn't try to come up and pry; something Harry was thankful for. Ron and Hermione pointedly looked towards him; with Hermione mouthing that they would talk later after offering a small warm smile.

Draco looked at him in surprise as he sat down next to the blonde before giving Harry his best sneer. "Feeling alright there Potter?" He sniffed in disdain. "I would rather you not faint while we work in class today; I only enjoy being blamed for your stupidity when it's rightfully earned."

Harry almost laughed. Merlin had he missed this, back when things were so black and white. How long had it been since he could relax and just tease someone? Instead he just smiled softly at the teen next to him. "Yes, I am." He tilted his head to the side and offered the boy a beautiful smile. "Thank you for your concern Draco."

Draco's eyes widened comically as he blushed and spluttered. "Y-you…. You…"

Harry frowned. "What?"

The blonde simply shook his head and groaned. "I knew it! You must be going mad; you never call me by my name." He looked at Harry warily. "You're not about to go and act all Hufflepuff next to me are you? Some of us do have a reputation to uphold."

Harry chuckled softly and looked up as Moody walked in. "Perhaps we all go mad in the end, but I promise to behave if it worries you so much." He stole a quick glance at the blonde and smiled. "You have a lovely name you know; it would be a shame not to use it."

Draco blushed darkly and turned his attention to Moody, trying not to look at Harry as much as possible.

Harry's eyes glazed over in memory. Some things were vastly different here, yet some were still the same. As he studied his teacher he caught himself wondering, was this Barty Crouch Jr in disguise as well? He frowned, why they would want to kill him here as well? His parents had talked to him about his Hogwarts years, and this Harry had been surprisingly well protected; never once having to face the dark lord. In fact the school years had been surprisingly ordinary and rather boring. So why, why was it that even here his name had been entered?

He frowned and shook his head, resolving to think on the matter later, instead he focused his attention on Moody, or rather; who the man impersonating him may be. Not many talked about Barty, as he had been swept under the rug way before the war truly started to grow. But Harry remembered the man was quite young and once brilliant. His spellwork had even rivaled Snapes at one time. What had destroyed him was being held under the imperio curse by his own blood; leading him to become insane. In a way, he was the one death eater whose company Harry truly enjoyed. Acting as Moody he had secretly trained Harry, by helping the boy find his true potential in spellwork along with finding books that would later grow invaluable in the war effort. For whose gain however; Harry simply didn't know. There was no real reason for Barty to help out the enemy as much as he did, it was a foolish move; especially knowing that Harry would use all the spells he was taught. He frowned in thought. It was disheartening; how twisted a life could become. He wondered what had been Barty's aspirations. Did he have dreams for a better life? As his eyes went to the mans left arm, he had to concede that it must have been the case, for why else would the youth join the death eaters, if not for dreams?

"Potter!" Moody barked, his magical eye swirling around the room before centering on the raven haired youth.

"Yes professor?"

The man frowned at him, though with his scared face it looked more like a horrific grimace. "Since you seemed to prefer your own thoughts to our lesson, I thought I would bring you back; seeing that you think yourself above learning at the moment." His voice was highly sarcastic and several slytherins chuckled softly at the jab; surprisingly Draco didn't join, merely looking at Harry curiously.

"So Potter, what is the difference between light and dark magic?" The man drawled, looking at Harry with no small amount of annoyance after being ignored through their lesson.

Harry blinked at him in surprise, for a moment he couldn't help but wonder how no one had ever noticed that this man wasn't Moody.

What trained Auror would sound so refined?

Instead he started to laughed, it started as a slow chuckle before growing slightly hysterical.

Draco looked at him worriedly before placing a hand on Harry's small shoulder.

"Po-…" He paused and shook his head. "Harry, are you alright?"

Harry nodded and took a deep breath.

Moody looked at him slightly annoyed. "Mind explaining what you find funny Potter?"

Harry nodded and calmed down. "The question you asked was simply too hilarious that I had to laugh." His eyes darkened as dark memories that were no longer real flittered across his mind.

'Not here; they're not real here.' He shook his head before staring at the angered instructor.

"Light and dark magic…" He snorted in contempt. "What a foolish concept Professor." He took on a childlike air as he looked at the shocked students; unnerving a few of them with his dead eyes. "The world isn't black and white, why believe the same with magic?" He hummed and tapped his fingers on his desk, no longer looking around at anyone. "Light magic can harm just as much as dark."

"What are you talking about Harry!?" Ron shouted, looking at his friend in shock and slight indignation. "Light magic is good! Dark… it's dark magic that's utterly evil!" He looked at Harry in confusion and concern. "You know this mate!"

Harry smiled sadly and some gryffindors flinched at the raw pain in the emerald eyes.

"You would think that wouldn't you…" He murmured softly, though still being heard by everyone. "Would you think the same then, if someone accioed your bones from your body Ron? Or your nails? One by one?" Some of the students started to pale at the imagery, a few of them turning green. "And the wingardium spell, what if someone repeatedly dropped you from a great height?" His eyes began to grow hollow, more and more memories flashing between his eyes. He could no longer hold them back. "Making you break your bones over and over, paralyzing you as you break your spine repeatedly, no one offering to heal you, just leaving you to stay with the pain as you lay there in agony… Or how about the reducto spell? Have you ever seen what happens if you use that on a human? How you blast away their body? How your blood and organs splatter around everywhere and still you are not allowed to sleep; you have to stay awake and feel it all…" His voice grew hollow as his body trembled from phantom pain. "How even when you scream and beg for mercy and death they just smile and keep going?"

"Then…" Harry chuckled hollowly. "There are dark spells made to keep you awake as this goes on, and there are even darker spells that will heal better then any light spell could dream of… if you're able to stand the pain as your body reattaches itself together that is…"

His nails were starting to cut into his palms as he made his hands into fist; small drops of blood fell softly onto the floor, the only sound in a now otherwise quiet room.

Ron's eyes widened with horror and realization; he looked at his friend with a pained expression. "Harry… did…" He swallowed painfully; scared of the answer he would receive.

"Did they do that to you?"

Harry smiled sadly at his friend. "Light spells… they can sometimes cause just as much pain as a Dark spell…" His voice grew softer as he looked away, deep in thought. "Sometimes… I wished he had just killed me instead."

Draco grew deathly pale while Ron looked like he was going to be sick.

Everyone looked at Harry in various stages of shock and horror, a few of the Hufflepuffs were softly crying as they looked at him, the tale too horrific for them to stand.

Harry turned back to his teacher, who seemed to be studying him under a new light; a calculating glint in his eyes.

"The answer… Professor… is a simple one."

He smiled innocently. "There is no light or dark, only power and those too weak to seek it."

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**_A/N: _**_Sorry that it's a day late. I hope you all enjoyed this little installment. A bit more of Harry's past will start coming out, as his past will obviously not be completely cannon. Also for any of those wondering; eventually what happened to this world's Harry will be found out; along with the mystery of the two week absence. Stay tuned for more! Also please leave a review if you can, I truly do enjoy them so._

_Thank you._

_Till next time._


	7. Of Old Memories and New Friends

**_A/N:_**_ A new chapter I hope you all enjoy. Thank you everyone for the lovely reviews you sent me; they brought quite a few smiles to me as I read them all. I hope you enjoy this new installment as well._

_Onwards._

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**_Disclaimer: _**_Characters belong to J.K. Rowling_

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Harry grimaced as he nibbled on a dry piece of toast; not having an appetite for anything more filling at the moment. It seemed that he had slipped too much in class earlier. He had allowed his memories get a hold of him; and now he was undoubtedly paying for it.

Word on the class had spread quickly through the school; and everywhere he looked was another student regarding him with a look of pity.

It made him extremely uncomfortable when even Pansy; a girl who he was positive he had never interacted with in this timeline was sending him looks of pity and barely hidden sorrow.

It was too strange; and it felt wrong.

Thankfully not all of the repercussions were terrible.

After he had stormed out of the class; Draco and Blaise had quickly gained control and subdued most of the slytherins; and seemed to be in the habit of hexing anyone who spoke ill of him; much to the surprise of many a gryffindor.

He smiled softly to himself as he continued to nibble on his toast; it felt nice to be around everyone again. Whether they knew him or not, just to know he was cared for helped him to let go of his nightmares.

If only for a moment.

Thinking back on the lesson he couldn't hold back his flinch as he looked towards the front of the great hall. Dumbledore seemed preoccupied with Sprout in a rather serious discussion, if their enthusiastic hand movements were anything to go by. Yet Harry knew the man well enough to see the hidden looks of concern being sent his way. Snape surprisingly seemed visibly ill; his already pale skin gaining a rather corpse like pallor. Even McGonagall seemed to be having difficulties holding back her emotions on the matter.

He sighed and shook his head; knowing full well that they would be keeping a close eye on him for some time now thanks to his 'episode'.

If only to make sure he didn't break.

He grimaced at the thought. Not even when Sirius had died did they pay so much attention to him.

Though… to be fair there had been other things to worry about by that point.

"Harry?" Hermione's hesitant voice cut through his thoughts as he gave the girl his full attention.

She looked him over with concern before hesitantly placing her hand over his; her frown doing nothing to hide her worry. "Should…" She paused and looked away; uncertain at how her words would be taken. "Should you ever need someone to talk to… we're here for you Harry…" She smiled sadly before tightening her grip on his hand and gesturing to his other friends. "Don't ever feel like you have to go through this alone. Rely on us… please…" She pleaded softly.

Harry froze before turning to look at her with a blank expression. He couldn't find it in himself to speak. He flinched as a memory overtook the moment; the great hall began to blur around the edges until he found himself in its crumbling ruins; screams filled with terror and anger filled the castle as smoke from distant fires surrounded him.

_Her terror filled screams cut through the air; making his heart drop as he desperately tried to find her through the rubble and countless bodies. Spells and curses zoomed past him; he barely paid them any mind as he grew more frantic in his search. The air seemed silent; even as he knew it was anything but. Time seemed to pause as he finally caught sight of her. Her brown eyes were open wide in disbelief as she gasped and screamed weakly; blood flowing from her lips as her features contoured in pain and fear. The wolf growled loudly as it stood over her; his mouth covered in blood as the vicious beast continued to rip apart her innards. All Harry could focus on was her blood as it splattered on the cold stone floor; painting the area a gruesome red. _

She frowned when she caught his expression before pushing through; a small smile on her face. "We'll always be here for you Harry."

_The young woman laughed and smiled warmly at him. The campfire was burning a dull red now; with only a few embers left. Her brown eyes glimmered with happiness. She threw her head back; her bushy brown hair falling over her shoulders as she studied the night sky._

_"Sirius is shining brightly tonight Harry." The young woman smiled softly at him before turning her attention back to the dying fire. "I'm sure they're watching over us… they'll help us survive this adventure yet." She shook her head and chuckled before looking at him with a determined smile._

_"Come what may Harry James; we'll always be here for you."_

He blinked rapidly as tears threatened to spill from his eyes. He struggled to smile at her and nodded almost mechanically. "I'll…" Swallowing thickly he continued. "I'll keep that in mind."

Ron grinned in relief before throwing his arm over Harry's shoulder; not noticing the small flinch the action caused. "I'm glad mate." He shook his head and tightened his grip for a moment and letting go. "No matter what we're your friends." He smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry for what I said in class… I really should have known better." He blushed in embarrassment and ducked his head. "I guess I'm always just sticking my foot in my mouth."

Hermione chuckled and nodded. "I think we're used to that by now Ronald."

Harry cringed as yet another memory overtook him.

_Blue eyes filled with resolve as they grabbed onto his shoulder; pulling him up despite his weak pleas._

_The village was nothing but fire and smoke; in the distance they could hear a few screams; growing softer with every passing second. _

_The tall youth took a deep breath before walking away from the rubble; his grip on the smaller male never loosening; even though the extra weight combined with their injuries made the task ahead seem impossible._

_"We're going to make it Harry!" The red head snarled angrily at him as he continued to walk; never pausing even as his body protested every movement. "We won't end here!"_

Harry frowned and looked down at his piece of toast; his appetite long gone. He smiled apologetically at his friends before standing.

Hermione frowned and him and made to move as well before he waved off his concerns.

"I'm just going to walk around the lake for a bit." He smiled at the two. "Save me a seat in potions yeah?"

Wrapping up a few pieces of bread he walked out of the great hall; not waiting for an answer.

He took a deep breath and tried to steady himself.

He couldn't allow these memories to overwhelm him so often. He frowned as he walked down the hall; not paying attention to the curious stares sent his way. It was bittersweet seeing Hermione and Ron interact so innocently again.

And painful.

He smiled sadly in thought; those two deserved so much more…

He gripped the bread in his hand tightly, crumbling it as his green eyes filled with determination.

This time…

He looked up as he left the school.

This time around things would be different; he would not allow anyone to fall.

No matter what consequences may come.

* * *

A content smile flashed across his lips as he threw small pieces of toast to the Giant squid. The great beast had noticed him as soon as he made his way towards the lake and after catching sight of Harry's food began to softly tap the boy with a tentacle until Harry finally relented and fed the creature. The squid took great enjoyment out of playing with the small pieces of bread; throwing them high into the air before devouring them and asking for more. Harry chuckled at the silly antics; enjoying the distraction from his thoughts. Taking a deep breath he couldn't help but smile as all that greeted him was the cold and crisp air of late fall. Here there was no fire burning; no smoke to breathe. There was no burning flesh or the smell of fresh blood to taunt him. To remind him yet again of all that he had lost.

All that he had failed.

He looked at the school grounds and shook his head; trying to get back to the here and now.

It was difficult at times; to differentiate between the two.

He frowned. He'll just have to try harder.

"You didn't eat enough." A low voice drawled from behind him.

Harry hummed thoughtfully but didn't turn around as he fed the squid more of his bread. "I wasn't hungry."

The voice sighed before sitting beside him; he smiled as he caught side of a flash of blonde in his peripheral vision.

"You're strange Potter; did you know that?" Draco asked, his face showing his irritation.

Harry grinned before throwing the squid the last of his bread; dusting off the crumbs on his cloak he turned to look at Draco. "Oh?" He tilted his head in mock confusion. "How so?"

The blonde scowled before gesturing at the surrounding area. "All of this is bloody strange!" His face grew darker as his anger finally came through. "You disappear out of the blue for two weeks; and mind you not even the headmaster could find where you were being held; just to turn up in Hogsmeade half dead. Then you start acting like an utter loony when you finally wake up!" He took a deep breath and shakily ran a hand through his hair; slightly mussing up the perfect strands.

"Then… when you're finally back in class with… you're not the same..." He hesitated before looking away; his hands idly ripping apart the grass. "You don't fight with us slytherins anymore; or act like a pompous arse just for being our 'savior'." He snorted at the term. "Merlin Potter; you even kissed me and Blaise in the bloody great hall! Honestly! What the hell was that all about?!" He looked at Harry in confusion; his annoyance at not understanding the puzzle the boy had become finally slipping through as he silently pleaded for answers.

The raven haired boy laid down on the grass and sighed as he looked at Draco. "Would you believe me if I say I'm going mad?"

The blonde snorted. "Obviously." He muttered softly; surprising Harry at the small hint of concern reflected in the youth's silver eyes.

"Then that's what I am." Harry smiled sadly and closed his eyes. "I'm simply a mad fool."

Draco frowned before looking at Harry curiously; an unknown emotion flashing across his eyes. "Harry… they broke you… didn't they?"

Green eyes blinked in surprise.

Could it truly be so simple?

Such a simple term to describe it all?

A simple word to describe everything. The destruction… the deaths on his hands… the blood staining and soaking into his very skin; making sure that he would never forget… never be able to let go of all of those he had condemned.

Be it in nightmares or in the memories that haunted his waking hours. They would all speak to him. Whisper to him with hate and anger as they reminded him constantly just how much he failed them.

He started to laugh and cry all at once; startling his companion. It was such a simple yet honest explanation.

He was broken; and would remain that way.

His own punishment for his crimes.

He turned his head to look at the blonde; not caring for the bits of grass now tangled in his slightly unruly locks.

"Yes…" He sobbed softly as the laughter finally stopped; small tears escaping his eyes. "I suppose I am."

Draco bit his lip in indecision before groaning loudly. "Oh damn it to hell!"

Before Harry could even blink the taller boy had bent down and placed a soft kiss on Harry's forehead; startling him with the kind gesture.

"You better not get any funny idea's potter!" Draco scowled while blushing furiously as Harry looked at him with wide eyes. "It's just… I hate seeing you cry like this, you're supposed to be my rival of sorts, now…" He shook his head; utterly messing up his hair before turning away; desperately looking at everything but the boy beside him. "Gah! Just take the comfort and shut up!"

Harry chuckled weakly and grabbed Draco's hand; giving it a soft squeeze. "Thank you Draco."

The blonde nodded and glanced at him; a faint blush still on his cheeks as he smiled. "Well at least you have manners now." He teased lightly.

Harry tried to snort before sitting up and looking at the boy with a bemused expression. "Does this mean we're friends now?"

Draco rolled his eyes. "Potter…" He started slowly even as he smiled. "Are you trying to tell me… after all these years... Now you accept my hand in friendship?" He sighed dramatically. "If all I had to do was comfort you; I would have just bloody hugged you when we were five." He pouted. "Would have saved me a lot of headaches… and dressrobes." He cringed in memory.

Harry blinked in confusion before smiling sadly. "How about we just agree that we were both prats back then?"

Draco raised his nose in the eye. "Malfoys are not 'prats'." His eyes glimmered in amusement. "But I suppose it wouldn't be too disastrous for us to be friends." He drawled lazily.

Harry chuckled and nodded. "Of course."

Both boys stilled as the bell sounded; signaling the end of lunch.

"Well as fun as this all was Potter; if we don't leave now we'll be late for potions." The blonde grimaced. "And I for one do not care to test Snapes 'forgiving' attitude at the moment."

Harry paled and stood up quickly; thinking back on the numerous detentions he had once served for such a reason. "Right." He nodded eagerly as they both rushed back to the school.

Potions; no matter what time he may be stuck in would always be a serious matter; something he should never take lightly lest he incurs Snape's wrath.

And lose hundreds of house points.

Again.

He smiled softly as he looked at the blonde speed walking besides him.

At least he wouldn't be alone this time around.

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**_A/N: _**_I hope you all enjoyed this installment and will stay for more. Please leave a review if you enjoyed the tale; they light up my day so much and make me happy to see you all enjoying the tale. On a side note; to those of you who read O.S.A.B. I'm terribly sorry for the horrifically late update on that tale; and have decided on a rather drastic measure for the story; I'll be updating the months in segments until the year 2002 is finished; then it'll be one long chapter. Again I apologize for the long wait and hope you all enjoy it once the next installment is released. _

_Thank you._

_Till next time._


	8. Please Save Me

**_A/N: _**_Thank you all for the lovely by posting this chapter earlier then expected I can focus solely on my other w.i.p. for everyone to enjoy._

_Hopefully is the key term however..._

_Besides that I dearly hope you all enjoyed this new installment! I think this chapter will really start to show the darker aspects of Harry's mental psyche; and probably lead to a lot more people freaking out over him. Sadly nothing is ever normal in the life of Harry Potter and he's going to find out just how wrong things can go in one day. Just have to love Murphey's law._

_Also I would like to dedicate this chapter to darknightstalker. They gave me a wonderful idea for this chapter that I hope may help the story flow along to an interesting direction. To that end I dearly hope they enjoy how their suggestion was used._

_To that end; onwards to the story._

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**_Warnings: _**_Dark themes in this chapter; mentions of torture; death._

_Also; when characters use __§ it's to signify parseltongue._

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**_Disclaimer: _**_Characters belong to J.K. Rowling._

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Luckily, the two of them made it to class with time to spare. Not wanting to be late to his godfather's class, and as a show of goodwill to Harry; Draco had shown the younger teen some of the secret passageways the slytherins use to reach the dungeons and other parts of the school. The secret tunnel they entered was lit up with a few charmed candles and had a strange earthy smell to it. Harry was in awe of the passageways; and found them to have a lot of potential when it came to spying. A small smile filled his face at the thought, now he knew why Snape was always able to catch Ron and him when they misbehaved. Draco grinned when he caught sight of Harry's smile and went on to explain that the walls were all filled with interconnecting tunnels for the students to use in case they were ever found themselves late to class; or to hide in from times of old when the castle could have been attacked. The blonde had then smirked and remarked that if a student tried to use the tunnels without the permission of a slytherin; they would be cursed and lose their way in the dark tunnels without light for a day or two. Given the nasty grin the blonde was sporting, Harry easily assumed such a thing had happened more then once.

Thankfully when they finally reached the classroom a seat each had been saved for the two. Blaise had looked at them with a glint of amusement in his eyes before turning back to the front and adopting a rather bored expression; the seat next to him unoccupied and obviously saved for Draco. Hermione had an odd expression on her face as she eyed him before softly patting the empty seat next to her for Harry to take. The students hushed slightly when the duo entered the room before frowning in confusion as they stared at the two unabashed.

After all, it wasn't often that the slytherin prince and the gryffindor golden boy came to class together, in fact, it had never happened before.

Rather it was more usual to see an odd hex thrown their way as they would taunt each other between classes; their infamous rivalry well known amongst the students. Yet as the slytherins and gryffindors watched the two smile and whisper softly as if close friends; they all started to wonder just when the dynamic had changed.

After a quick goodbye, Harry parted ways with Draco and sat next to Hermione, giving her a soft smile as she looked at him inquisitively.

"You were with Draco…" She started slowly, as if trying to study his reaction to her words before continuing.

He smiled and nodded his head as he pulled out his potions set. "I was."

She hummed thoughtfully, twirling her quill as she tried to look nonchalant, yet a simple glance at her guarded eyes told him she was anything but. "That's new."

Harry simply shrugged at her. "We decided to work out our differences 'mione." His eyes dulled for a moment, making her worry at the sudden change. "We shouldn't waste our time with petty arguments." He looked down at his workbook and idly traced one of his countless doodles, smiling sadly at the small animated snitch that flew around his finger. "You never know how much time we have left after all." He murmured softly.

Hermione frowned and moved to question him before the door opened rather abruptly; letting in a scowling Snape.

His robes billowed around him as he gave them all a harsh glare. His eyes paused momentarily at Harry and seemed to look at him with a hint of concern before turning to the blackboard and writing down the potion they had to brew.

"Get to work." He snapped at them before moving around to inspect them as they started on the days practical.

Hermione groaned as she read the directions from the blackboard. "Of course he would assign the hardest ones before break." She muttered before looking over at Harry. "Will you need any help with it?"

Harry looked at the board; it was a variation of the befuddlement draught. Living nightmare; while it was fatal if used long enough the one they were to brew today would only have a mild affect on the user; giving them a small case of chills and maybe making their heart rate rise as they were filled with paranoia should their potion be too strong. Harry couldn't help but grimace. The potion had been a favorite of Toms to use against captured Order members when it came to torturing them. After all what better way to break someone down then to make them live through their worst nightmares constantly? The potion would be administered daily until the Order member finally broke down and either killed themselves by biting off their tongue or just gave over the information Tom desired.

Unfortunately in his opinion; Harry was never on the receiving end of such a potion.

After all; the hell Tom delivered him to was much worse then any potion could hope to give him. On some days as he listened to the other prisoners screamed he couldn't help but feel jealous that their torture was only mental.

It seemed so kind to him.

"Harry?"

He shook out of his thoughts and smiled at the bushy haired brunette. "No it's fine I can make it."

Hermione frowned; obviously not convinced. "But Harry" She started. "Your potions aren't that great." She cringed slightly at her choice of words. "It's not like you can't improve of course, but with all the time you and Ron usually spend flying or playing chess…"

She stopped and bit her bottom lip, obviously worried she overstepped his boundaries and upset him.

He sighed inwardly as he readied his potion ingredients; and yet another difference made itself known to him. He'd had to learn about potions in order to survive before. After all, for the stronger healing draughts, just a small variant or mistake could turn it into a poison; and with the war, there was no room for failure or to simply laze about peacefully. He shook his head at the girl before checking the water in his cauldron to make sure it was bubbling. "It's fine Hermione."

She sighed and turned to her own cauldron, discreetly glancing his way every now and then should she need to interfere.

Harry smiled at her antics and adjusted the fire before adding in the chopped newts eyes and stirring once counterclockwise.

He bit back a laugh as he watched Snape walk around the room with a pinched expression, it seems some of the students had already messed up the potion, and he was anything but amused at their lack of concentration for such a particular brew.

Harry smiled nostalgically, Merlin had he missed this. The room was dark and gloomy and had a dank and moldy smell to it; but with everyone silent as they concentrated on their potions; and only a few odd whispers here and there, it was nice and peaceful. A sense of calm and peace filled him and this time he let out a soft sigh as he continued to work. Feeling oddly at home for the first time since he'd awoken.

Taking out some dried bat wings he began to grind them, making sure they were finely powdered before adding them to the potion.

Hermione almost panicked as she looked at his work worriedly; tensing slightly as she obviously waited for it to explode. "Harry!" She whispered sharply. "It says crushed not powdered!"

Harry merely shook his head and stirred the potion before adding in whole white lilac petals.

Hermione looked like she was going to faint as she watched him. He couldn't help but chuckle at her reactions. "Relax Hermione." He murmured softly before glancing over at her potion as it turned a dark magenta. "You need to add the beetle wings now."

Squeaking she turned and quickly added the ingredients, sighing in relief when it turned a soft grey; signally the potion was almost complete.

She shook her head as she watched him bottle his potion. It was a dark grey colour, a bit more potent then they were supposed to create but would earn him points nonetheless. "It's odd Harry…" She frowned as she looked at him, as if trying to solve a puzzle yet failing. "You never used to be so good with potions." She scrunched up her nose in memory. "In fact, I know you used to fail purposely just because of some silly animosity you have with the professor." She shook her head and looked at him curiously. "So how did you know what to do, and so perfectly as well?"

He smiled sadly at her.

_The hospital wing was filled with gravely injured children. Some of them were crying for their parents and Harry almost gagged when he noticed all the blood and burn marks on their young bodies. Some of the injured were only first years; they barely even knew magic and already were being harmed by it so cruelly._

_Hermione rushed towards him and pulled him away from the wing; a determined look on her face as she looked straight ahead, not once paying attention to the heartbreaking cries and whimpers behind her. _

_At his questioning look she just smiled; a sad and broken smile filled with desperation._

_"This can't continue Harry…" She looked away as a teacher brought up another bloodied child. "There's too many injured and not enough potions to treat them."_

_He nodded solemnly, his heart breaking as he spotted yet another injured child crying from pain their young bodies should never feel. "What… what can we do though?"_

_She smiled that painful smile again before leading him to the dungeons where a pale and gaunt Snape waited; his face showing just how tortured he was by the recent events._

_"We learn…"_

_He gripped her hand tightly as she led him to a bubbling cauldron._

_"We learn what we must in order to survive."_

"I…" He frowned and looked down at his dark grey potion. "We had to learn… if we…"

Hermione frowned and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Harry… what do you-"

"SEAMUS NO!"

Neville screamed loudly in panic as a terrified Seamus realized his mistake. His potion started to bubble eerily; the once grey potion turning a gruesome black.

Severus cursed and made his way over to them, not yet noticing just how dangerous the potion had become.

Harry reacted quickly; his instincts kicking in before he even realized he'd moved. Running over to the potion he knocked Seamus out of harm's way and quickly cast a shield over the class; unfortunately in his panic to protect them he forgot to include himself behind the shield.

Before he could even realize his mistake the potion finally exploded, the black cauldron cracking in two as the now dark potion clung to his skin, the burning liquid coating him in black slime. He felt himself drop to the floor as the room started to blur away; he could faintly see Hermione pounding on the shield with Ron. As the room started to darken he faintly saw Snape take out his wand and wave it around. All too soon they disappeared from sight; all too soon his nightmares began once more.

_Tom laughed as he stood before him; his wand held almost lazily in his hand._

_"You're such a good little boy Harry…" He smirked at him while pulling at the youth's dark ebony locks painfully. "What curse will you let me try on you next?"_

The vision changed and Harry could faintly hear himself screaming; though if it was in reality or in his dreams he didn't know.

_"What would you give me for them Harry?" Tom asked softly as he petted Harry's bloodstained hair. His torture had been worse then usual today. The ruby eyes man had failed in one of his planned raids and decided to play with Harry to take away his anger. The teen couldn't move, his back once again broken, leaving him paralyzed as he stared up at dark rubies. Tom smiled sweetly at him before turning his chin harshly until he was forced to look at the muggle children the death eaters had captured during the raid. Their small innocent faces were tear stained as they huddled close together, quietly sobbing as they looked at the gathered death eaters with fear. _

_"What would you let me take?"_

_Harry coughed up blood as he looked up at Tom pleadingly. He knew it was futile but he had to try; Merlin he couldn't bare to see it happen again, not again. "Don't…" His voice was hoarse from his screaming earlier as he begged; hating himself for being so weak._

_ For not being able to protect anyone. _

_"Don't hurt them."_

_Tom sneered darkly at Harry and quickly threw an all too familiar green spell at one of the children; making them all scream as the little boy fell; dead eyes looking up in confusion. The children started to cry loudly as they looked at the child. _

_Too young to understand death._

_Too innocent to understand what will happen now._

_Raising his hand he slapped Harry harshly, the loud sound silencing the children as they looked at Tom in shock, not being used to such a display of violence._

_Harry looked up at the man with blank eyes as a small trail of blood leaked from the side of his mouth; the skin having been cut from the small show of abuse._

_ Tom stood slowly, a dark look distorting his beautiful features as he roughly kicked at Harry's already broken ribs._

_§Never order me!§ He hissed angrily; his red eyes glowing with anger and power._

_Taking a deep breath he smiled softly and bent down; his long fingers playing once more with Harry's hair. His grip tightened on the ebony locks and ignoring the soft whimper betraying Harry's pain at the action he slowly lifted up the broken body from the floor by the boy's shoulder length hair. He turned Harry so that once more he was facing the children; smiling cruelly as he eyed the tears falling silently down the young teens cheeks; showing just how much pain his body was in from the harsh movements. _

_Harry couldn't even scream from the pain, it was too much effort for his lungs. He looked at the children with despair; wishing he could magic them away; that he could save them from their fate._

_But his reserves were low; and the punishment for such bravery too cruel._

_Tom turned and smiled at his death eaters before making sure Harry was watching the small children. He kissed the boy's bloodied cheek and grinned._

_"Kill them."_

He could feel his mental shields crack under the strain as more and more nightmares filled his vision. No longer was he fourteen and with friends. No longer was the air clean and fresh.

His friends were all dead.

His family dead.

Hogwarts had fallen.

All he could smell was his own blood and filth as Tom attacked him emotionally and psychically on a daily basis. His hope at being saved dropping a little more each day. His soul shattered just a little more each time he caught sight of that beautiful smiling visage.

He was back in his cell being used as a test subject for new dark spells Tom had been reading up on.

No.

He'd never left in the first place.

He started to laugh and cry as the pain overwhelmed him; not being able to tell if it was psychical or mental.

He could no longer care enough to tell the difference.

It all hurt the same.

_Tom was approaching him again. Wand held in his hand as he walked with a nonchalant grace. He tutted softly as he neared Harry's bloodied and broken body. _

_The small teen didn't even lift up his face to look at the man; too tired to move._

_It wasn't worth the pain._

_"Poor Harry." He cooed softly. "So broken."_

_He bent down and whispered softly in his ear as Harry struggled to keep breathing; his earlier injuries still unhealed. His breath became ragged as he felt his body being lifted. He stared up at ruby red eyes with fear._

_"Don't worry my little doll; I'll make you all better again."_

_§NO!§ _Harry screamed loudly as he tried to move away from the caring arms; knowing it was all just a ruse to break him even more.

It was just a trick.

It was always just a trick.

_§Stop! Stop it!§ _He screamed and struggled weakly as something was forced down his throat; most likely to fix his broken bones.

Tom always did enjoy seeming caring when he healed him.

He felt himself go limp in those hateful arms and continued to sob brokenly.

"Please…" He begged, as he felt too familiar fingers rub his hair in a seemingly soothing manner.

He couldn't take it anymore.

He would give the man whatever he wanted.

Just make the pain stop.

"Please just kill me."

The arms holding him stilled for a moment; and he felt his heart beat in excitement.

Would Tom finally grant his wish?

"Harry."

The voice; a deep baritone; normally so rough and yet at the moment sounded so soft. The speaker sounded as if he were in pain.

That couldn't be right.

He opened his eyes slowly and looked around in confusion.

His cell was gone; he was back in the potions classroom.

The shield he had thrown up earlier had long since disappeared.

All of the students were pale; their faces drawn with worry; even some of the slytherins were looking at him with concern. Draco seemed unsure of what to do and Blaise was no better.

Hermione was silently sobbing next to Ron; the red head holding her in a comforting manner as he looked at his friend with a pain filled expression.

Seamus was the worst. The Irish boy had tears running down his face as he looked at Harry with so much guilt; that it threatened to swallow him whole.

"I'm so sorry Harry; I'm so sorry!" The young teen stammered out as his body trembled with barely suppressed sobs. "It's all my fault; I'm so sorry."

Harry frowned as he looked at the teen.

"I..." He started; why was his voice so hoarse? "I don't understand."

The hand in his hair resumed its ministrations and he looked up in surprise to see sorrow filled onyx looking upon him.

"It's over Harry… the nightmares are over."

Harry felt tears run down his face as he shook his head.

Faintly he could still hear that all too familiar dark chuckle.

"No…" He smiled sadly at the potions master, his body trembling from phantom pain as his eyes overfilled with tears.

"It's never over."

* * *

**_A/N: _**_I hope you all enjoyed this new installment and will continue on to see what will befall Harry next. Also please leave a review if you enjoyed this new chapter; they make me smile so much when I see someone enjoying this tale._

_I also wish to mention I have now made a fanpage for this story and O.S.A.B.. I plan to use the pages to provide notes on the chapters; trivia on certain characters; along with back stories and history that may or may not be mentioned in the actual story and much more. Should any real interest be shown for the pages; I'll start running them and showing all the interesting tidbits that exist in these worlds. If not; I'll just stick to the random notes I leave about the tales on my profile page._

_If you wish to check out the page and join it; I've already added links in my profile for anyone to do so should they wish it. The pages are pretty bare at the moment since I don't wish to use too much effort on something that may not be well received._

_Anywho; I hope you enjoyed this new installment and will stick by for more!_

_Thank you._

_Till next time._


	9. How Can I Help You?

**_A/N: _**_I Hope everyone enjoys this new installment and what is occurs to poor Harry. Also thank you all so much for your lovely reviews; they were a pleasure to read. This chapter is out earlier then expected mostly because once more I'm trying to focus on updating O.S.A.B. Anywho I hope you all enjoy this treat. _

_And now…_

_Onwards._

* * *

**_Disclaimer: _**_Characters belong to J.K. Rowling._

* * *

Snape forced himself to breathe calmly as he eyed the sobbing child in his arms. The boy had turned away from the students, most likely in the hopes that they would not see his tears. That they would not think of him weak.

It was a foolish notion however. Most of the students had been traumatized by what they had witnessed. They would not blame him for his tears when more then a few were clearly sobbing themselves.

The screams that had been ripped from the boy's throat had been terrifying; it sounded more like a wounded animal then that of a human. They were filled with so much pain and agony that even one of his slytherins had turned to him and begged him to make Potter stop, to take away the boy's misery by any means possible. Some of the rasher gryffindors had even banged on the shield in the vain hopes of breaking it down to go and comfort the child. From experience he knew that not even the crucatious curse could compare to whatever it was the boy had been experiencing. He shivered as he wondered just what the boy had gone through to have such a reaction from the potion. Frowning in thought he looked down at the young boy in his arms.

How had things changed so much?

He'd never liked the Potter scion. The boy had been just like his father in his opinion. Whenever he would pay a visit to Lilly the incorrigible boy would always misbehave and play cruel pranks with his father and Black. The two aurors had regaled him with stories of their youth's and had given him the impression that anything slytherin should be avoided, much to his ire. Lupin and Lilly tried their best to discourage the boy from such thoughts and actions but with his father praising him for his immaturity; it had been a useless endeavor. He was just another James; rude to any and all slytherins while acting like a brat to impress the girls he fancied. Sure the boy did inherit some of Lilly's better traits; but his eyes never held the same kindness that existed in hers, and while he could be just as honorable and just; it was sadly only to those he deemed worthy of such an action.

When the boy had finally started school it seemed to grow worse. Albus acted like a doting grandfather to the child he'd seen raised and merely scolded him lightly for his pranks and foolish behavior. He knew the boy wasn't all a brat; though he loathed admitting such a thing. The youth honestly did care immensely for his friends and treated them kindly, and would sometimes even go out of his way to help the odd hufflepuff or raven. It was at those times that he could see Lily's influence. Unfortunately those times seemed few and far between; especially as the boy grew older and began to manifest some of James's worst traits.

With the Weasley twins taking an interest in the boy's pranking abilities he honestly bemoaned ever having peace in the school. The three of them would go to any extreme in order to perform the most annoying and infuriating pranks; just to act innocently when it came time to point fingers.

It had been the marauders all over again.

It was his one gloat against James that at least the boy hadn't inherited his father's skill on a broom. The child was deathly afraid of heights; had been since first year when he lost control of his broom in class; earning him a broken wrist and trip to the hospital wing. While James bemoaned the fact that the boy would never be a quidditch player like himself; Severus had secretly had found the whole thing to be amusing, especially with his own godson having the talent and drive needed to be an excellent seeker.

And yet now…

Those thought no longer filled him; he could no longer feel that constant ire when he looked upon the youngest Potter. That thrice damned Hogsmeade trip seemed to have changed everything; changed it all in the cruelest way imaginable.

In truth, sometimes he felt the boy to be a different child altogether.

Looking down at dull emerald eyes as the boy sobbed silently; with only his shaking shoulders to give him away, he felt himself grow cold at the thought.

No longer could he see James in him. That blasted mischievous light was long gone from the boy's eyes, his tell tale smirk after a successful prank missing. Inside he doubted the boy would ever get in trouble again, would ever fill the halls with laughter when he got away with yet another prank, the Weasley twin's right at his heels. It was disheartening to think he would never again hear the great hall burst into laughter as the foolish boy did something to make the students and professors laugh.

He had always been such a coddled child; secretly he supposed that many had enjoyed his childish ways; and wished to protect him from any possible danger for as long as possible. Now he wished they had shown him more of the world instead of leaving the boy so innocent. Perhaps then it wouldn't hurt so much to know those days were now long gone, and now simply memories. As he looked down at the boy he could see he would no longer laugh so freely, no longer would his smile be easily given.

He was no longer a copy of James, and it worried him that he could no longer see Lilly in him as well.

Instead all he saw a broken soul; worse then his own. He saw the haunted eyes the boy now carried and shivered. Those once bright emeralds held no sign of life; instead they seemed to be asking and begging him for death and absolution; yet he could not even imagine just what grave sin the boy could have done to ask for such a thing. The helpless eyes that now stared at his own belonged to one who had lost everything dear to them, to one who no longer had anything left to give.

It terrified him.

He tightened his grip on the small boy, irrationally fearing the youth would disappear from his arms should he even dare to blink. The boy he held was no longer the child he had watched over all these years. Instead it was a young boy screaming at him for help, begging to be saved. He felt himself grow protective of the raven haired youth and secretly vowed to protect him.

Even if it was from himself.

He grimaced as he eyed the spilled potion now slowly coating the floor in black slime and cursed himself for his slow response. It had all happened so quickly. The foolish gryffindor had ruined yet another potion; even after being paired with Longbottom. He had thought nothing of it and simply walked over to banish the whole mess.

That had been his first mistake.

Potter had rushed over and erected a shield over the students; a shield he should not have known to do; much less have the power to perform. Before the incident he had known the boy to be average in spellwork and power; his core having been tested and proven to be nothing special. Now he wouldn't be surprised if the boy's magic strength was on par with Albus's.

He had managed to hold the shield even as the potion exploded. He had hoped the spell would come down quickly then, especially as the boy began to flail about in pain and agony; his screams making the children pale as they screamed and begged for it all to stop, for the boy to be helped. He had taken out his wand as he waited for the shield to fall, not believing for a second it would stay up as dark images they could not see filled the boy's mind. It should have been impossible for the youth to control his magic while he suffered so much and yet…

_The shield still had not come down._

It was as if the boy was controlling it with pure will alone, acting like a stubborn gryffindor by foolishly protecting them from sharing in his fate. He had slashed at the shield then and tried to destroy it before paling in realization. His power was not enough. He could barely make a dent in the magic protecting them, while at the same time preventing him from giving the suffering boy the antidote.

Instead they had all been forced to watch the boy as he screamed and begged. It was then that Severus began to still with the implications of what they were witnessing.

The potion was commonly used to make one see their nightmares; namely things that they feared, much like a liquid boggart. Before the kidnapping he would have assumed the boy to only see himself falling from incredible heights, but he knew whatever the boy was now experiencing had to be far worse. A little known fact about the potion was that should the drinker not have a strong enough fear, the potion would them morph depending on its potency and act as a dementor. This would mean that the potion would then begin to show the victim their worst memories without end. It would force whoever drank the blasted thing to relive any terrifying memory they possessed until they went mad.

Only skilled potion makers could create such a potent brew however, so he had not been worried. The most the students should have been capable of was making a rather dark grey brew, none should have been able to make the potion become pitch black, showing it was extremely potent and dangerous. He should have known the foolish gryffindor would have made such a catastrophic and unlucky mistake.

Severus knew without a doubt that had been the potion had been extremely potent once he saw the dark slime covering the young gryffindor, and faintly he wondered just what Longbottom and Finnegan had been doing to create such a brew.

The screams the Harry had produced were too horrific for something imaginary, only his own memories could produce such despair as much as he wished it to be otherwise.

He felt himself shiver at the thought; and wondered not for the first time just what had happened to the boy.

Then he wondered if he would even want to know.

Shaking his head he rid himself of his musing and turned his attention to the still terrified students. Most of them were simply standing there in shock. He was surprised to note that his godson was watching Harry with worry and he wondered just how much the boy in his arms had changed.

And just what sort of change it would bring.

* * *

Harry looked around at the students blankly. He felt so numb now, breathing deeply he felt relief in the knowledge that his body wasn't injured. It hadn't been real; it was all in his head.

Tom wasn't here to hurt him anymore.

His fallen angel could no longer confuse him and destroy him.

He, along with the others were long dead; they couldn't return and torment him.

Leaning into Severus's touch he let his eyes fall close before moving his head to the side.

He didn't want to see how they would all look at him now, it scared him to even imagine their looks of disgust for how _weak _he was.

How he was nothing, just a _freak_.

"Class is now dismissed."

Harry opened his eyes in surprise as the potions master's arms tightened around him; he looked up curiously at the blank mask the man wore and wondered what he could be thinking. What his mentor must think of him now for his foolish actions.

He shook his head as his hands tightened to fist.

No.

That thought was wrong; this Snape was not his. He didn't truly know who or what Harry was.

Somehow that thought hurt him; closing his eyes again he tried to fruitlessly escape from the pain now filling his chest.

Hermione shot a worried look at Harry, her eyes bloodshot from crying earlier before turning her attention to Snape. "But Professor-"

Snape glared angrily at her. "I will take care of mister Potter if that is your concern." He nodded over at Neville. "Alert the Headmaster that his assistance is needed." He glared at them all as if warning them not to question his authority. "Now leave."

Some of the students quickly left then; feeling intimidated by his glare and too drained from what they'd witness to fight back. Ron had to drag Hermione out as her worry for her friend easily overrode her unquestioning faith in following her teacher's orders.

Draco shot him an odd look before leaving with Blaise. The Italian also looked his way before leaving, both boys seeming to be asking him a question he knew not the answer to.

He felt the tension in his shoulders leave once he was alone with the professor. Leaning against the man's broad chest he sighed in relief. "Thank you." He grimaced as he felt his throat burn, knowing he must have been screamed loudly once again.

Severus nodded before slowly helping him up, steadying him when his legs shook slightly. "I believe we have much to discuss Mr. Potter."

Harry trembled before looking down at the floor, rubbing his left arm nervously he shook his head. "I would rather not sir."

Severus sighed. "Potter, it won't do you any good to keep your emotions locked away like this." He ran a hand through his long dark hair. "Similar incidents could occur child!" He looked at Harry imploringly. "What would you do should you lose control once more, should something similar happen again?"

Harry flinched at the harsh tone. "What would you have me do t-then sir?" He looked up at the man he once knew so well. "Would you have me reveal all my secrets to you? For comfort? For redemption? Would you have me relive it all again; having to see all their dea-" He paused and shook his head before collapsing down into a seat. "I can't. I just can't."

He flinched when Severus put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Please Harry; it will kill you to keep your torments within. Let me help you."

Harry laughed hollowly before looking up at the potions master with a bleak expression. "And if I'm already dead?" He trembled as he looked down at hands, feeling the urge to scream as he kept seeing the blood that soaked his skin, covering him completely. He would never be allowed to forget his sins. "I'm nothing; I shouldn't even be…" He bit his bottom lip till it bled. "I'm just a failure. A monster. A Freak." He looked up at the potions master and grasp at the man's robes desperately as he felt himself grow hysteric. "PLEASE! TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO!" He shook his head as his breathing started to grow erratic. "I see them everywhere Severus! I can hear them in my sleep! In my very dreams they condemn me! In my waking hours they haunt me!" He sobbed as he looked up at the startled man. Stepping away from Severus he covered his ears as he shook his head; desperately trying to drown out the whispers that never seemed to leave him. Closing his eyes he began to scream brokenly to himself. "It's all my fault! It's all my fault!"

"HARRY!" Severus shouted as he grabbed onto the screaming child; he looked at him with fear and worry. Just what did they do to him? How could they have destroyed him so much? To make the once strong willed boy believe in such painful lies…

He swallowed painfully as his heart began to break. It was so painful seeing the once bright child reduced to such a state. "What is your fault Harry?"

Harry stilled and faced the potions master with an eerily blank face. "Everything."

Turning slowly Harry looked at Dumbledore. The man stood by the door as took everything in with a horrified expression. His once twinkling eyes were dull and heartbroken as they looked at Harry.

_Dumbledore smiled at him serenely as he eyed his decaying hand. The office seemed solemn in the face of the earlier attack, yet the old wizard did not let it deter him; rather Harry believed he had never seen Dumbledore look stronger then he did now. "I believe in you Harry, I believe that you can save them."_

_Harry shook his head. "But the war sir… It just keeps growing worse." He looked down at his hands nervously. "I don't know what to do to help."_

_Dumbledore chuckled softly. "My dear boy, the answer can be found in your heart. You who possess such great strength and kindness." The old man stood and looked out the tower window, staring at the school grounds before him. "It will be you who saves them; I am sure of it."_

_Harry smiled at him sadly. "How can you place so much trust in me sir?"_

_Dumbledore smiled at him; a lost emotion flitting before his eyes faster then Harry could comprehend. Slowly the old man leant down to hug him. _

_Harry looked at him in confusion._

_"I trust you my dear boy… because I love you as if you were my own. Know that you could never fail in my eyes Harry." Harry felt his eyes widened as he stared at Dumbledore's tear filled ones. "No matter what happens in the end."_

_Harry blushed in embarrassment before returning the hug._

He looked at the wizard and felt a tear fall down as the last of his mental shield broke.

_Harry felt his heart stop as he watched Dumbledore fall. His body now unrecognizable after the attack he had suffered through to protect him._

_To protect him because he had been too weak._

_A cackle sounded behind him but he could barely hear it as he screamed._

_He had failed him._

_He was no hero after all._

Turning back to Severus he smiled, a hollow and broken smile.

"I'm the reason they're dead after all."

His eyes rolled to the back of his head, Severus quickly caught the boy before his head hit the cold stone floor.

He looked up at the headmaster in shock and anger. "What…" He shook his head. "What did they do to him Albus?"

Dumbledore sighed sadly as he touched the boy's tear stained cheek with and old and wizened hand.

"Whoever took him… they destroyed the one light that truly existed in this world Severus." He looked down at Harry's prone form with a lost and heart wrenching expression.

"And I fear we may never have it returned to us."

Severus began to tremble with anger as he held the boy close. "I want to kill them Albus." He snarled angrily. "I want to kill them all for destroying him."

Albus looked at him with a guarded expression. "Even though he is your enemy's son? The scion of a man you despise."

Severus roared as he laid Harry's body on the floor before lunging at Albus. Grabbing the man's bright robes he glared at the headmaster with barely contained fury; his onyx eyes flashing with anger. "No child deserves this fate!" He spat out angrily. "He isn't James's or Lilly's son anymore Albus!" He pointed a finger at the unconscious boy. "You have noticed the changes; you have noticed how his eyes are now dead and broken. He is no longer that man's son." He let his arms drop as his anger left him. "I can no longer see him as he once was." He shook his head. "It's as if he never existed."

Albus nodded sadly. "Then they succeeded." He walked over to Harry's unconscious body. "They truly killed my grandson."

Severus sighed as he looked at the headmaster. "What can we do then? How can we even begin to heal him?"

Dumbledore reached down and picked up the small boy, checking to make sure he was still unaware he turned to face Severus. "First we find out the truth." He turned and walked to the door. "And then we kill them in return."

Severus scoffed. "Where has your peaceful ways gone Dumbledore?"

Dumbledore smiled at him sadly. "They died when someone decided to break the one child I truly love."

With that he walked out of the potions room.

Severus growled angrily as he watched the man leave. Walking to the front of his class he destroyed the glass vials that had been left on his desk.

"Death." He scoffed at the thought as his eyes hardened. "Such a fate is too good for those monsters."

Pausing he looked down at his left arm. Making sure no one was around he lifted up the sleeve until he could see the dark mark marring his pale skin. He hissed as he touched the dark tattoo, feeling it pulse with dark magic.

"I wonder." He muttered softly before shaking his head. "No… it's not possible."

He sighed softly. "There's no reason for _him _to have any interest in the boy."

He frowned as he walked out of the room; putting the foolish thought out of the way he began to plan the retribution Harry's attackers would soon face.

They would regret ever believing they could harm the boy.

He would make sure of it with his very life.

* * *

**_A/N: _**_I hope everyone has enjoyed this new installment! The fan page for this tale is still on my profile should anyone be interested. Things will soon start heating up as more questions begin to appear without any answers in sight. For Harry, we'll just have to see if his secrets will remain that way…_

_I hope everyone has enjoyed this chapter and please review if you did; they truly make me smile when I see that the story has been enjoyed once more._

_Thank you._

_Till next time._


	10. Of Dreams and New Resolves

**_A/N: _**_I've decided until I can work out a proper schedule for my stories, to release them in a somewhat spontaneous manner. I hope that everyone enjoys this new segment and thank you so much for all the lovely reviews! It makes me so happy to know that this tale is being enjoyed._

_And now…_

_Onwards._

* * *

**_Disclaimer: _**_Characters belong to J.K. Rowling_

* * *

_The warm summer sun seemed to burn at his pale skin as Harry watched all the school children run around. The park was constantly filled with the sounds of laughing and screaming children since then end of the school year. Sadly Harry was not included in these festivities. His cousin Dudley had already scared off all the other children, and no matter how much he wished it, they would never let him play with them._

_Who would want to play with a freak after all?_

_He sighed sadly before going to sit next to an aged and warped elder tree. The cool shade offered some much needed relief from the summer sun, and thankfully Dudley seemed far too busy bullying the other children to take notice Harry at the moment. Smiling sadly he took off his worn book bag and began to rummage around it before making a soft noise of triumph at finding his most beloved book. It was a rather simple book with odd fairytales, he had read the stories so many times that the book was slowly falling apart, its cover no longer shiny and new but aged and tattered. Yet he loved it too much to ever bemoan it's less then ideal appearance, it was his one true treasure after all._

_"My dear boy…" A soft voice came from behind him, startling him from his musings. "Whatever are you doing here?"_

_Harry turned and frowned at the strange appearance of the older man hiding behind the aged tree. He smiled softly when he noticed Harry's stare and stepped out from the shadows in order to let the younger see him clearer. He wore strange and brightly coloured robes; Harry rather doubted his Aunt Petunia would ever let this stranger near her home dressed in such a silly and peculiar manner. The neighbors would never let her hear the end of it. Besides his clothes the man had the most remarkable beard, it was long and white, to the point that the old gentleman had seemingly tied the hair to his waist. Harry had never seen such an odd looking gentleman, but he didn't feel wary of him whatsoever. The man's blue eyes were much to warm and inviting for him to ever fear him, they almost seemed welcoming in a way._

_Harry shook his head and blushed in embarrassment from getting lost in his thoughts again. Remembering the man's earlier question he shrugged as he focused his attention on his ratty trainers. "No one wants to play with me."_

_The man made a thoughtful humming noise before sitting down next to Harry. "Well, that's not right. You're such a sweet and honest child; I can not see why anyone would not want your friendship."_

_Harry blushed brightly at the compliment before looking up and smiling shyly at the strange gentleman. "Thank you sir."_

_The man chuckled. The sound seeming so warm and soothing that Harry was almost tempted to close his eyes and sleep. "Think nothing of it my boy." His eyes seemed to twinkle brightly when he eyed the book in Harry's small hands. "What do you have there Harry?"_

_He didn't even question how the man could possibly know his name, he was much too excited to finally have someone who wasn't wary of him and seemed interested in him for once instead of his cousin. "It's my favorite book! The tales of Beedle the Bard!" He smiled brilliantly at the kind and old gentleman. "I love the stories! It seems so wonderful to think of a world of magic!"_

_The man smiled at him warmly. "Magic can be a wonderful thing Harry, such a great and powerful gift."_

_Harry nodded shyly. "I wish I had magic…" He blushed at his admission before relaxing as the man merely chuckled warmly again. An unknown emotion seemed to pass through the elder's eyes as he smiled at Harry. "My dear boy, you are so very special, even with the gift of magic." He shook his head and gestured to the book in Harry's lap. "Would you terribly mind if I perhaps read you a few of the tales?"_

_Harry gasp in shock before nodding eagerly. No one had ever wanted to read him a story before. Carefully he handed the man his frayed book before snuggling close, feeling comforted by the kind presence the man's very being seemed to exude. His eyes started to close as he listened to the gentleman's voice. He seemed so terribly familiar to Harry, yet the harder he tried to think of him, the more the thought seemed to float away from him. Sighing softly his breathing slowly evened out until he was peacefully asleep, the warmth and protection keeping away the nightmares that had always come for him._

_Albus blinked in surprise when he felt Harry slump beside him before smiling sadly at the small boy. Running a hand through the messy hair he laid a kiss on the all too familiar lightning bolt scar._

_"I'm so sorry Harry." He smiled sadly as the boy snuggled closer, murmuring softly in his sleep. "Forgive me my boy for what I have done to you."_

_A single tear fell from him and landed on the young boy's cheek, stirring him slightly from his slumber._

_"Forgive me Harry."_

* * *

Albus and Severus sat quietly as they watched over the slumbering boy. Poppy had almost called for the aging wizard's head when she saw just who it was he was cradling so gently. It seems after Harry's extended stay in her wing the stern matron had developed a soft spot for the young teen; and both men were under no illusion that should the potion incident had been anything else then an accident, that the old medi witch herself would have paid vengeance to the perpetrators. After taking care of some personal business, Severus had joined Albus in the hospital wing as they watched over the young teen, a few times he had murmured Albus's name softly in his sleep, causing the headmaster's heart to clench painfully.

Severus sighed before running a hand through his silky locks. "Should we inform them?" He grimaced at the thought, he knew Black and Potter would storm the castle if they were informed of this accident, and so soon after the boy had been discharged from the wing. He cringed and mentally noted that Finnigan should probably be hidden from their sight should the foolish gryffindor think to stay in the castle during the Yule holidays.

Albus frowned before shaking his head. "They would only worry more… perhaps when they come by for Yule will things be better, and they would take the news of this incident calmly."

Severus snorted. "Somehow I doubt either Black or Potter even know the meaning of the worm calm." He looked around the dark and empty hospital wing before staring intently at Albus. "Who have you sent to find the one's responsible for this?"

Albus hummed under his breath before moving his hand, a shield was quickly erected in order to keep their conversation private.

"I have Frank and Kingsley on the case, the ministry has taken an interest in Mr. Potter's disappearance and have Aurors of their own working to uncover what happened."

Severus sneered darkly. "They could not find him in the two weeks he was gone, what makes you think they will find his attackers now?"

Dumbledore sighed tiredly before glancing at Harry murmured softly in his sleep again before shifting a bit in the hospital bed. "You must have more faith Severus. They are doing all they ca-"

Severus laughed harshly. "You don't even believe those words yourself Dumbledore." He stared at the man's cold blue eyes. "You want revenge, just as I do. No matter how much you try, your eyes can't lie."

Dumbledore looked away in shame. "I am not all forgiving Severus, though I may try to be… I do not believe I will ever be able to forgive his attackers."

Severus shook his head before smiling coldly. "And so the Lord of Light falls."

Dumbledore chuckled as he smiled sadly. "I never said I was infallible, that title no longer means anything to me."

Snape stood up and adjusted his robes. "Then Headmaster, we will have to see just how far you are willing to go for a child not even of your blood."

Dumbledore turned to look at him. "I should say the same to you as well."

Severus smirked at him coldly. "For this child Dumbledore… I would even let hell reign." He bowed his head at the older. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have papers to grade."

He stalked out of the wing, his robes billowing around him as the shadows seemed to swallow his form from view.

Dumbledore sighed sadly before gently brushing aside Harry's hair, and aged finger tracing the lighting bolt scar. "Forgive us my dear child." He smiled sadly when he noticed Harry lean to the touch even in sleep.

"Forgive us poor fools."

* * *

Draco sat calmly in the potions master's quarters; he was playing with a cup of tea that had long grown cold as he waited for his godfather to arrive. The house elves had tried to replace it countless times but he needed something to hold.

He needed to hide just how much his hands were shaking.

Swallowing thickly when the man had still yet to show he sighed loudly.

There were too many things that were confusing this year.

That tournament should not have been anything to note. Yet Harry had been called to enter. Everyone had assumed the famous prankster had simply entered his name somehow, but even as he joked around with everyone, Draco had noticed a look of worry enter his bright green eyes.

Then there was that Hogsmeade trip. Since then, Po- Harry had changed, in more ways then one. He had noticed earlier had the boy's eyes would sometimes glaze over when he looked at another student, and how an air of melancholy followed him after.

At first, he had simply written it off as just an after effect from his recovery. A simple lag in his healing after his mysterious attack.

Yet now after potions… he wasn't so sure on that assessment. Just remembering the screams the teen had unleashed made him shiver in fear. His godfather had trained him in the art of potions, and he knew whatever Harry had experienced was real.

That thought terrified him more then he cared to admit.

He had previously not known what to think of the attack, especially since the younger seemed to be so tight lipped on it. Sure there was rumors floating about, but he knew that not even the headmaster knew just what exactly Harry had gone through.

Then there was that small and easily overlooked 'talent' that Harry now seemed to posses.

He shivered even though his back was to the fire.

A talent that should not even be possible for him for him to have, had he not heard it with his own ears… he would never have believed it.

Harry… had spoken _parseltongue._

He had known the annoying teen all his life, and not once had he ever heard the teen speak in that tongue. If anything Harry was deathly afraid of snakes, he would never talk willingly to one.

So that only led to the question… on how was it that he now came to possess an ability thought dead? After all, everyone 'knew' that the last speaker had perished thirteen years ago, and there were no Slytherins in the Potter bloodline.

He scowled as he looked at his tea. There were too many questions coming about for his liking and not enough answers to satisfy him.

He tapped his foot impatiently as he looked at the clock.

There was something wrong here, whatever they had done to Harry went much further then physical violence. As much as he loathed admitting it, it was almost like Harry wasn't… well, like he wasn't himself anymore.

He groaned loudly at such a stupid thought.

No matter what, he really did want to help the broken boy. He was enjoying his almost friendship with Harry and was starting to think of him as a fond friend, someone he could talk to whenever Blaise wasn't around. He felt that Pott- Harry wouldn't mind if he let down his mask, and he loved that feeling of being free to act as he wished with no repercussions.

He nodded to himself, he would talk to his godfather first, and then he would see how he could help his new friend.

After all… No one messed with someone placed under a Malfoy's protection.

He sighed in relief when he heard the door to the private rooms open. Turning he smiled nervously at his godfather.

"Uncle Sev…" He started before looking away from the surprised man. "We need to talk."

* * *

**_A/N: _**_ I Hope that everyone enjoys this new installment! It'll be a long time yet before any questions are answered and I hope everyone will stick around till then. The page is still up on my profile for this story and hopefully I can start adding things to it soon. Thank you so much for reading this tale. Please do leave a review if you can, they make me smile so much when I read them._

_Thank you._

_Till next time._


	11. Unanswered Questions

**_A/N: _**_I can't help but cringe at the thought of how long it's been since I've updated. After falling ill I took a break for a while and now I'm finally going back into the hang of things._

_In other news, it's my birthday today, and to keep with hobbit tradition I'm giving a gift to my readers in a way by updating a few of my stories here and there._

_I apologize for the long wait it's been and I dearly hope everyone enjoys the latest installment._

_And now… _

_Onwards._

* * *

**_Disclaimer: _**_Characters belong to J.K. Rowling_

* * *

Harry sighed softly before slowly opening his eyes.

Once more he was in the hospital wing.

"Can't even go a day." He snorted in slight disbelief before shaking his head in exasperation. He had been so incredibly stupid to not include himself in the shield; it was such a rookie mistake! He grimaced at how weak he must have appeared to everyone as he lay there trapped in his pathetic memories. He hoped they would all just pretend it hadn't happened at all, he was in no mood to go about explaining why he'd reacted as he had. And in all honesty, there was no way he could explain to anyone why the potion had such a strong affect on him.

He sighed softly and sat up, twitching as phantom pains shot through his system. He knew it wasn't real, that it was only his brain remembering the pain he had once felt, yet this knowledge did nothing but make him feel worse. Right now Hermione would have berated him endlessly after making such a mistake, with Ron right beside-

_'But they're gone now… aren't they?' _

The thought made his heart feel hollow, and hurt worse then even the pain going through his body. It was surprisingly easy how quickly he could forget that he was all alone now. Shaking his head he decided to look around the wing. It was empty, but for once Madame Pomfrey had opened a few of the windows to let in a cool breeze, he stared blankly at the white curtains swaying lazily in the breeze as the late autumn wind moved through them, seeming to be playing a game with the white material. He had never had so much time to himself whenever he was stuck in the hospital wing, usually Hermione and Ron would always be beside him waiting for him to wake up, both ready to either yell at him for once again ending up in the infirmary or Ron to give him quick looks of pity whenever Hermione wasn't watching as she ordered him to start on the homework he had missed during his stay.

He missed them.

He missed having Hermione wake him and Ron up in the morning after they had stayed up all through the night playing games with the refugees, usually with an Aguamenti; though once in a fit of rage after they had put up shields over their beds to stop her spell she had sent a horde of birds after them instead.

They'd quickly learn to just take the blast of cold water like men. Anything was preferable to being pecked at repeatedly by a pack of small birds when only in your underwear.

He missed seeing how her eyes would light up whenever she found a new spell or potion for them to work on, or the looks Ron would give her whenever she wasn't looking.

He missed them both so much…

He curled up into a ball, the blanket hiding his small form. Why hadn't he joined them? Why was he still alive while they were gone? What reason could there possibly be for him to live while they died?

Gasping softly he looked at his hand in confusion before noticing he'd cut his palm with his nails while lost in thought. He stared at the crescent shaped pools of blood curiously. He was alive, he could still feel… still dream and eat and laugh… but Hermione and Ron… they would never again be able to do so. Never again would he be able to be Harry… just Harry with them…

_"Harry…"_

He turned his head to the side and returned to studying the curtain.

It was sunny again; he could almost hear the students playing outside as they tossed food at the giant squid or ran around, their laughter filling the air. He could almost see them by the lake… sitting there waiting for him…

_The girl laughed brightly as she threw a piece of toast at him, narrowly missing his nose._

_"Oy!" He yelled in exasperation._

The lake had always been their spot, and even when later they were joined by others, that fact had never changed.

_Her brown eyes glittered in amusement. "That's what you get for going all serious on me again."_

_He stared at her blankly before a mischievous grin lit up his face. "I'm sorry 'mione, have you confused me with my godfather again?"_

_"Why you!" She growled before jumping onto her feet, wand in hand and ready to hex him._

_Eyes wide in fear he quickly jumped up and tried to run away from the crazed girl._

A small smile flitted across his lips.

_"Get back here Harry James! You know I hate that joke!"_

_He yelped as a hex came to close to hitting him, turning he looked at a laughing Ron with large puppy dog eyes. _

_"Don't just sit there! Handle your woman!"_

_"What did you call me Harry!?"_

Even when all seemed lost during the war, they had always helped him, always stayed by him.

_Ron laughed and shook his head as yet another hex came flying his way. _

_"Sorry mate, you're on your own." He didn't look all that apologetic as he sat by the tree with a smug expression. "You should know better then to get all mopey with 'mione around."_

He caught a movement in the corner of his eye.

_He gasped in exhaustion as he finally fell to the ground. "Ok I give, I give!" He groaned and narrowed his eyes at the smirking witch. "You… I swear you were born evil"_

_She snorted and rolled her eyes before smiling. "But I made you stop being sad didn't I?"_

_He blinked owlishly at her before a large smile spread across his lips. "Yeah… yeah you did."_

A red head was standing just beyond his sight, along with a young woman with bushy brown hair.

_They both chuckled before lying on the ground with him._

_"You know mate." Ron looked at him with a serious expression. "We'll always be here to help you when you're down… so stop trying to handle everything by yourself alright? You got us you know?"_

_Hermione nodded in agreement as she smiled at him. "We're here for you Harry, no matter what."_

_Harry blinked back tears as he smiled at his friends and grabbed their hands. "Stay with me? Even if I drive you two mad with my moods?"_

_They laughed._

_Hermione tightened her grip on his hand. "Always Harry. You don't even have to ask."_

The two were gone from his sight now. He grabbed one of his pillows and wrapped his arms around it before curling up again. Looking at his pale hands he frowned. "Then why aren't you here?" He whispered softly to the empty room.

"Why did you leave me all alone?"

There was no answer.

* * *

The minister sneered in distaste at the reporters loitering around the ministry. Ever since the disappearance and then reappearance of the Potter boy they had all been clamoring about for his attention, each of them wanting to have the honor of publishing his opinion on the matter.

It had been a matter of national crisis. After the few reforms he had been able to successfully forced through the Wizengamot, Hogwarts had been announced truly one of the safest places in all of Britain. Yet to have a child be taken from a supposed safe area, and having that child be the nation's sweetheart.

Well… it had caused quite a few complications.

Letter had been flown in non-stop from worried mothers, all of them thinking their children would also be taken. And since he had to keep a calm and gentle façade when dealing with the bumbling masses, he sadly couldn't go about yelling at them for being such blithering idiots.

The boy had always been special when it came to the public, after supposedly 'vanquishing' the dark lord some odd years ago the nation had fallen in love with the child. And thanks to his parents, even if the brat was spoiled rotten, the news couldn't twist the public to think so.

It was so sweet it could almost be vomit inducing.

Obviously he also held a small fascination with the boy, but after looking through the tests run on the boy he had been disappointed to note that the child only possessed an average amount of magic, there was nothing truly special or remarkable about him besides surviving the killing curse. Later when even his followers had told him that the boy was nothing special, only a coddled innocent, his interest had all but disappeared, though he still kept tabs on the child just in case something changed. Instead he started to devote more of his time to fixing the mess that was their ministry. By the time that he had finally won the people over, the ministry had been so corrupt that it had seemed impossible to fix everything without starting another war. Yet he was bidding his time on that front, not yet sure that a war was what he should strive for to push forward his ideals. He wanted to make Britain no longer a laughing stock in the magical communities, he wanted others to marvel at the strength of their nation, and if he had to bring about change through a war then so be it. With the tournament underway he was even more focused on his goal to improve their country then before, and because of that he had spared little attention on the Potter boy.

Until the child's catastrophic disappearance that is.

To this end he had his best Aurors on the Potter case, he was angered that someone had dared touched the boy, and wanted to make sure they paid for it. Even if the child was nothing special he was still magical and just a boy, there was no reason he could think of for someone to have set their sights on him. If they had wanted publicity they would have gone public with the kidnapping. Instead it had been done discreetly, making sure that no one knew of the boy's disappearance until it was too late.

Something about it didn't sit right with him, and somehow he was sure that this wasn't the end of the matter.

Quickly he slipped into his private office and sighed in relief at the welcomed silence. The room was charmed soundproof in order for him not to be driven insane by the incessant buzz of thousands of ministry workers seeming to yell above each other in an effort to get things done.

It was sheer madness.

Shaking his head he stared curiously at the classified folder on his desk. It seems Lucius had done what he asked for after all.

Flipping through the information inside he couldn't help but grow intrigued.

The Potter boy had been an absolute mess when they had first found him. In fear of his frail condition some specialized medi wizards and nurses had been brought into the school to help heal him, his body had been too weak to handle a portkey or the floo. Honestly he was surprised the boy was even alive after all the abuse his body had been put through. His eyes narrowed in anger as he saw the damage done to the boy's small body with the use of the dark arts. Some of the spells had been outlawed and made illegal centuries ago, and some for them were so dark and twisted that even a master of the arts would think twice before using them. They were a darker part of the art, something he himself had only seen used once during his travels in his youth. It was very rare now to see someone with the knowledge of how to perform such spells, even rarer for the persons not to go insane after such exposure to the twisted magic. At that moment it clicked, and sent a cold chill down his spine. Whoever had kidnapped the boy, whoever had gone after him did so for a reason.

They were sending out a message.

They were calling for him; calling for blood.

He scowled angrily at the document. He answered to no one and the thought that someone believed themselves to be able to gather his attention in such a pathetic way both amused and angered him.

He paused in his dark musings as he finally stared at the pictures of the Potter boy.

The first had been taken a few months before his disappearance. He had always followed the family closely just in case the son had ever decided to show even a modicum of power, though as of yet that aspect of the boy had sadly left him wanting. The boy was of a pretty sort, and was sure to have quite a few admirers of both genders; but he was far too naïve and innocent for his taste. He had been a spoiled and much loved child, and there was no hiding that from his eyes.

Yet the later picture.

Those eyes told a different story…

There was no innocence, not really. Those eyes told a story; a story that he found himself surprisingly interested in learning. They were shattered and broken, but that wasn't what caught his attention.

Those hollow green eyes, so haunting and beautiful… they were the eyes of one who had seen death; yet…

They were also the eyes of a killer.

He flipped through the documents as his attention piqued before a dark smirk flitted across his handsome aristocratic features.

The boy had been entered in the tournament for reasons as of yet unknown.

As the minister he was expected to appear and watch the champions participate for the honor of their schools.

It would be easy; much too easy to arrange a meeting with the boy, to find out what other changes had taken place since he'd last seen the child.

Chuckling darkly he watched as the boy turned away in the enchanted picture. Running a finger over the boy's featured he smirked as his murky brown eyes glinted blood red for a moment.

"Well Mr. Potter…" He drawled as he stared at those enchanting avada green eyes. "It seems our meeting is long overdue…"

* * *

**_A/N: _**_Just a little taste for everyone. One more chapter after this and finally Harry will be participating in the first task of the tournament. _

_Does anyone know who the minister is? Your guesses are quite welcomed._

_I hope everyone enjoyed this latest installment and again I apologize for such a long wait._

_If you enjoyed the chapter please do leave a review? _

_Thank you._

_Till next time._


	12. A Mother Always Knows

**_A/N: _**_I must have written and rewritten this chapter a dozen times now. It was a very difficult chapter to write as I tried to show quite a few important viewpoints. I felt frustrated with it so many times and hope that it will be well received and enjoyed. Expect a bit of confusion as you read on, and while most of it will be explained in the bottom author's note don't be afraid to ask questions should something confuse you._

_And now… _

_Onwards._

* * *

**_Disclaimer: _**_Characters belong to J.K. Rowling (I'm quite terrible at these disclaimers, is there a certain way they're supposed to be written?)_

* * *

Harry huffed angrily as he walked around Hogsmeade alone. A few third years sent him odd looks until he scared them away with a dark glower. Glaring angrily at the dirt path he started kicking at random stones and rocks to take out some of his frustration. Usually when he went out of the castle he would be accompanied by Ron and Hermione, which more often then not led to them playing numerous pranks on some hapless hufflepuff or annoying slytherin while Hermione berated them on their 'immature' actions. Yet sadly that couldn't be said about the trio anymore.

His face grew red with indigenous anger as he remembered just why he was alone. He loved pulling pranks on others; heck besides surviving the killing curse it was one of the few things he was well known for. But he would never have put his ruddy name in that goblet! Even if it would have been one of the greatest pranks of all time!

For once he had actually listened to Hermione's warnings and after hearing about the numerous life threatening situations the contestants had been placed in, he had rightfully decided that it wasn't worth the risk. He was very attached to his limbs and the thoughts of losing them sent a shiver of fear through him. And while he loved his school, he wasn't about to go needlessly risking his life for the place's honour and just for a few gallons of prize money. Not to be rude but it was pretty much pocket money compared to the gold in his personal vaults, he really just didn't see any reason to compete, he'd rather just watch in the sidelines as a spectator with his friends.

Yet no matter how often he'd try to explain this to Ron, the red head just wouldn't listen to him, it was as if all common sense had left the boy; leaving behind a jealous prat instead of his best friend since childhood. He knew that sometimes Ron would get insecure, either from his grades or something else, but Harry honestly thought that they were over that, Merlin knows he had spent countless night assuring the other that nothing could damage their friendship.

He could care less if Ron's family wasn't like his, he hated the snooty pureblood way and loved instead the simple lifestyle the Weasley's lived by. Whenever things had seemed too much to handle it had been such a relaxing feeling knowing his friend was there and they could just chase garden gnomes in the vegetable garden his mum had or plan a prank war against the twins. He was friends with Ron because of Ron himself. The taller boy had always been there when he'd wanted to play a prank on Malfoy or when a ministry outing had become obnoxiously boring. He was always there to provide comfort whenever the stress of living up to everyone's expectations became too much. Ron was his best mate, and to know some stupid tournament could ruin that for him hurt badly.

Thanks to the reputation he had built with his pranks, no one would believe him when he told them he hadn't entered his name. Even the twins thought he had done it; and had grilled him for hours on end for his awesome skills of messing with the goblet. The only ones who truly seemed to believe him were his family and Hermione. Though that was a moot point now.

The bushy haired girl was off somewhere with Ron, trying to make the boy see some sense after a rather spectacular argument they had earlier in the common room.

Ron had gone off on him about his stupidity in entering the tournament, asking him if he really thought it was worth it. He had yelled at him about how stupid he was and in a fit of true outrageous anger had sprouted off painful things to him. Things he had never thought his friend would ever say to him, and things that had hurt him straight to his very core. It had hurt so much and he knew Ron had realized it as soon as the words had left his lips, but he hadn't apologized for them. Instead he had run off and left Harry alone in the common room while Hermione had dashed off after him in the hopes of saving their now crumbling friendship.

"Damn it." He muttered angrily as he ran a hand through his messy hair, trying desperately to ignore the painful pang in his chest. "It's just not fair."

It was at times like these that he despised his stupid popularity. Just because for some unknown reason he had been able to stop a Dark Lord as a baby, people had decided to elevate him to a god status. No matter where he went he was fawned over and praised, even in classes where he honestly sucked, sometimes the teachers would praise him instead of a student that had actually done the work correctly. He hated how he was treated, like he was special and better then everyone. As a kid he had enjoyed it somewhat, but as he grew he started to realize his fame was a double edged sword. No one wanted to see who he truly was; everyone had their own expectations of him. It's why he always played so many pranks. It was easier to laugh off his loneliness by acting obnoxious. They may still think of him as a boy hero, but at least when he was pranking them they would see he was just a kid too; if only for a moment.

With Ron he thought he had finally found someone to look past his image, to just see who he really was behind the prankster mask he always hid behind.

'Guess not' He snorted and shook his head as he continued to walk down the dirt path, barely watching where he was going as his dark thoughts seemed to swarm around him. The day wasn't going to look up any time soon and he decided it would be perfectly fine for him to wallow over the loss of a friendship while everyone else was off having fun being 'normal' with their friends.

He grunted in surprise as he walked into someone and tried to move out of their way; only to fall on the compact floor in a tangled heap of limbs thanks to his terrible balance. He groaned at the slight pain going through his body as he opened his eyes to yell at the person who'd ran into him just to blush furiously.

It was an extremely attractive woman and to his horror he noticed he had been holding himself up by her chest. Blushing a bright red he scrambled off of her and mumbled an apology as he helped her up, desperately trying not to pay attention to the soft mounds he had been holding onto not even a moment before.

'Bad Harry!' He thought to himself as he watched her dust off her form fitting robes that seemed to glide across her curves. 'You like Ginny. Ginny!'

It was no secret to the school that he had been pining after the red haired girl for ages; yet no matter what he did to try and capture her attention it never worked; she would always dismiss all of his rather ingenious acts and walk away. It was maddening that she didn't like him but he tried not to mention it too much around his patents. After his first rant about the girl turning down his affections his father had fallen to the floor in a fit of laughter and went off on how his mother had been the same way.

The fact that he finally had managed to win her affections in his last year didn't mean much to Harry given that the girl was a year younger and could still easily deny him when he was seventeen.

Shaking his head to rid himself of the rather morose thoughts he turned his attention back to the beauty before him. Wide doe like hazel eyes looked at him from a sea of pure blonde hair. He would have thought blonde to be off putting given his hatred of Malfoy but it just seemed to enhance the older girl's features in his mind.

"I'm sorry." Her melodious voice seemed to fill his mind. "I wasn't watching where I was going."

Harry stammered before getting a grip at his mushy hormone filled body. "Err no! It was my fault really." He smiled what he thought to be a rather charming smile at her while reaching for her hand and pressing a kiss on the back of her knuckles. "Please accept my apologies for getting dirt on your beautiful robes."

She laughed huskily at him and he couldn't help but blush as a warm feeling filled the pit of his stomach. It was a nice feeling to have someone's attention on you he couldn't help but muse. Even if inwardly he wished it had been Ginny he couldn't deny that the older girl did hold an odd interest for him. He just could not look away from her stunning visage, he wanted so much to impress her and have her stay with him if only a little while longer.

"So dear boy." She started; her voice seeming to send sparks through his heart. "Are you here alone?"

He blushed darkly as he nodded at her dumbly before finding his voice. "Erm, yeah!" He chuckled nervously as he looked at her. "And you?"

She smiled and fluttered her eyes at him before grabbing hold of his arm, bringing him once again close to the perfect mounds on her chest. "I find myself the same, mind showing me around?" She smiled shyly at him. "It's so hard to find good company these days."

He smiled a silly smile at her before nodding eagerly. "Well you're in luck! My day just happens to be perfectly clear, so I can show you around the whole village if you like!"

She laughed again, and Harry decided right then and there he really liked her laugh. "Oh dear boy, I simply can not wait."

* * *

Harry grumbled softly as he felt someone shaking him awake. He turned to the side and burrowed deeper into the warm blankets. "Just a little longer 'mione." He whined, not wanting to leave the small comfort of the cot he was in.

He heard a surprised gasp beside him and frowned in confusion. "How did you know it was me?"

Opening his eyes he couldn't mask the small amount of disappointment he felt at seeing the young girl before him instead of someone just a bit older. He had been hoping so desperately that it had all been just a dream …

He should have known better.

Shaking his head he gave her a small smile and shrugged. "A good guess?"

She shook her head at him and sat down beside his bed, her hands set nervously on her lap. "So…" She looked down at her shoes in obvious discomfort. "How are you feeling?"

He sighed and ran a hand through his messy hair; the small action seeming to bring a smile to her face. "I'm fine 'mione." He sat up on the bed and after bringing his knees to his chest turned to look at her with half mast eyes. "Now how about telling me how everyone is feeling after that horror show in potions?" He couldn't quite keep the grimace off of his face at the thought, making the young girl chuckle before turning serious.

"It wasn't a horror show Harry." Ignoring his snort of disbelief she continued. "We were all so scared… seeing you on the floor like that just screaming while we could do nothing but watch." Her voice broke for a moment as she took a breath to calm herself. "Ever since you've been back you've been acting differently. Always keeping everyone at a distance while acting like you aren't." She shook her head. "I kept wondering why but now…" She looked up at him with sad eyes. "Now I think I know why."

"Do you Hermione?" He whispered to her, his eyes never leaving hers. "Are you sure you know why?"

"No… not truly sure." She smiled sadly before putting a hand over his. "You've always been one for wearing masks Harry; even if you thought we've never noticed, we always have. Both I and Ron were just waiting for the day that you would finally take off that prankster mask you loved to hide behind and show us your real self. But then… you were taken from us… And now…the mask doesn't fit you; and you seem so lost because of it." She rubbed small circles on the back of his hand as she continued. "I can't begin to think of what they did to you… of how much you were hurt… all while we were here safe in our beds with barely any worries." She shook her head and gave him a watery laugh. "It drives me and Ron mad you know? We want to take revenge on them so badly for hurting you, we want to make them pay… but we don't even know who they are." She smiled sadly at him as her eyes filled with tears. "And it scares us too because sometimes…" A small sob broke out and she had to stop for a moment. "Sometimes we don't even know who our best friend is anymore now either!" With that she fell against him and started to sob. She barely noticed him as he moved her onto the bed and just held her as she continued to cry. As she sobbed against him and let out all of the fear and worries that she had been harboring inside since he'd first disappeared.

Because of this, she barely even noticed the tears that were also falling on her hair.

"We just did nothing! You were gone and we did nothing!" She sobbed into his chest loudly. "And still I feel so helpless and weak! All I can do is see you suffer and I'm not even brave enough to move and help you! What kind of a friend am I?" She sobbed against him as she felt him hold her close. "I'm sorry Harry." She looked up at his own tear filled face. "I'm so sorry!"

He shook his head and pressed a kiss to her head. "You don't have anything to be sorry about." He whispered hoarsely. "You shouldn't be apologizing."

Instead… he should be asking for her forgiveness.

He was the one who was sorry.

He was sorry for making her worry.

Sorry for making her cry.

Sorry that he wasn't the boy she remembered.

Sorry that he could never be that Harry… sorry that he was also scared…

Scared that her Harry was dead… that he was gone when the only one who truly deserved death was alive and taking the place of another.

He was so sorry… but all he could do was hug her as they both cried in the silent hospital wing, never noticing the trembling figure of a red haired boy crying just as they were from behind the wing's door.

* * *

The walk back to the common rooms was a quiet one, filled only with the sound of a few odd sniffles as the two embarrassed teens tried in vain to hide the evidence of their tears. They both held the other's hand as they walked up the stairs to the fat lady's portrait, both enjoying the shared comfort and valiantly ignoring what anyone else might think of the small show of affection.

To them, it felt oddly right, and they weren't about to question it; especially not after being found sobbing like first years by Madame Pomfrey; only to have her hide her own tears as she sent for tea and tissues for their bloodshot eyes and snot filled faces.

It truly hadn't been a pretty picture.

They let go of each other's hand as soon as they reached the portrait with shy smiles.

"So…" Hermione started, a faint blush on her cheeks. "Let's just pretend that never happened but still did happen alright?"

Harry nodded at her and chuckled softly. "Of course…"

Hermione nodded at him and after making sure the coast was clear gave him a quick hug. "We really were scared you know?" She murmured softly.

His heart clenched as he returned her embrace. "I know."

She cleared her throat as she stepped away from him, trying to give him a stern look. "You better not try to keep us away again" She lightly threatened him with narrowed eyes. "Next time instead of blubbering all over you I'll just send a hex your way."

He blinked owlishly at her for a moment before bursting into soft chuckles. His eyes closed as he tried to hold in his mirth and a pale hand came to his lips as the traitorous sounds escaped him.

Hermione looked at him slightly mesmerized. There was a painfully rare few times that Harry ever let go of his masks, but when he did… she couldn't help but feel a warm surge of happiness and affection at the small glimpses she would catch of the person he was under them, and would always wondered what type of man he would become once they were all older.

Shaking her head she tried to rid herself of the blush now staining her cheeks as she mock glared at him. "What's so funny? Think I can't do it?"

He shook his head at her an offered her a happy but sad smile. "No it's not that… it's just you reminded me of someone for a moment."

She looked at him in interest and curiosity as she tilted her head. "A good someone or a bad someone."

His eyes glazed over slightly as he answered her with a fond smile. "A good someone, definitely good…"

She smiled at him softly then. "Well good then." Shaking her head she turned to the door. "We should probably go in yeah?"

He nodded in agreement, feeling relieved to finally be back in the dorms but also worried on how everyone would react to him.

After whispering the password she turned to him with a grin. "We all wanted you to relax after everything so everyone's already in their dorms. That way you could have a bit of a breather when you finally came back, so instead expect an attack from everyone tomorrow."

He snorted and shook his head as he hid a grin. "Duly noted."

Unsuccessfully trying to hide her giggles she rushed inside before turning to look at him. "Harry?"

"Hmm?"

"Just… don't leave us out again okay?" She whispered softly, the only other sound to be heard was the crackling of wood in the fireplace. "We'll always be here for you, no matter what."

He paused and stared at her with a searching look. "Will you? Even if I drive you and Ron mad with my moods and with how I act? Will you still stay then?"

She smiled at him softly. "Always Harry, you don't even have to ask."

_"Always Harry. You don't even have to ask."_

She turned away then and headed up to her dorm rooms, not noticing the single tear that fell down his stunned face at the words that while seeming insignificant, meant more then she could ever dream of.

* * *

The dorm room was quiet when he finally wandered in. He could faintly hear Dean's snore from one of the closed up curtains and the moving of sheets as Seamus twisted about in his sleep.

He stood there for a moment just taking in the utter… nostalgia of it all.

He wondered how he would face them tomorrow. How he would be able to look at Neville's drowsy face as he stumbled out of bed without thinking of the brilliant man he would grow up to be, just to be killed before he even truly lived.

He wondered how he would be able to hold it together as he would watch Dean and Seamus play a game of exploding snap without thinking of how they used to do the same in the refugee camps with the younger victims of the war before their lives were also brutally claimed too soon.

It was too much. He didn't know how he was supposed to handle it all. He had grown up with all of them but not at the same time, he knew them but then again they were just strangers to him with familiar faces. His breathing started to come out in panicked gasps as it sunk in how he couldn't act like their friend when he knew so little of their Harry. He felt like he was in a cruel play. All the same actors and faces, but the lines were different and he didn't have his. He was just a stranger that had taken the place of their friend, he was just using them and they didn't even know it.

And Merlin that thought hurt more then he thought possible.

"Harry?" A soft, sleep filled voice murmured to him. He turned in slight surprise to look at a frowning Ron. The boy's expression grew concerned when he noticed the traitorous tears that had started to fall once again down his cheeks.

It felt like all he ever did now was cry.

He started to wonder just when he had become so weak.

"Oh Harry…" The taller of the two sat up and walked over to him with a sad expression. Harry blinked up at him and brought a hand to his face, seeming surprised at how much he was actually crying. "Erm… I'm sorry." He started to roughly rub the tears off of his cheeks. "I don't know what came over me."

Ron just shook his head and gently pried his hands away before leading him over to his messy bed.

He faintly took in the Chudley Cannon poster hanging on the side of the four poster bed before being forced to sit by the red head.

Ron stayed silent for a few moments; just calmly wiping away any stray tears while he watched on in surprise at the gentle action.

Finally the taller pulled back and moved to a more comfortable position on the bed as he rubbed his arm nervously. "Harry?"

"Yeah?"

The teen smiled sadly at him. "Did you know that when we first met you were also crying?" Taking in the confused look he continued, his eyes slightly glazed while thinking of a long passed memory. "We were so little back then, probably not even four, but my dad had been invited to a gala at the ministry and had decided to take me along. I was so excited you know? With so many siblings in the house there's barely any time I can spend with my family just one on one, and even as a tyke I thought it was amazing that my dad was taking me along with him instead of one of my older brothers."

He shook his head as he looked at the younger boy. "It sucked really, I hated it. The adults were so stuffy and I could barely breathe in the robes I had on… then… I saw you." He looked down at his hands as he continued. "You were so tiny back then! Even smaller then you are now which is saying something!" He smiled at the small chuckle he got from that before continuing. "Everyone was just crowding around you and barely letting you breathe, and your parents looked so haggard that they could barely keep those blasted wolves away. You just had these tiny chubby hands covering you eyes as you cried and cried to leave, hating how everyone kept trying to touch you and trying to hog you like it was their right to be able to do as they wished with you."

His hands tightened into fist. "I was just a kid, but even I knew that was such a wrong thing to do to you. As we grew older I tried to look out for you, and I noticed how you would always act like everyone wanted you to act, you would never be yourself, always so damn self sacrificing that it would piss me off like you wouldn't believe! And yet… I acted just like them when your name was called..." He looked up at the raven haired boy then. "It's my fault that you were taken…" He held up a hand to silence Harry as the boy moved to try and convince him otherwise. "Don't try and deny it, we always go to places together… never alone. You just always had this vulnerable thing about you, and me and Hermione thought that by making sure you weren't ever alone in a potentially dangerous area we could keep you safe and happy… but we… I failed. I was just being so hard headed and so mad that you were doing something so stupid for everyone that I didn't think and left you alone… I let you get so hurt because of how stupid I was… and I hate that." His eyes glinted in determination. "So now… now I want to change… and… I don't want you to have to hide who you are anymore…" He smiled sadly and put an arm on Harry's trembling shoulders. "I want you to just be you and bully what anyone else thinks. And I'll even put up with Malfoy if you really want to be his friend…" He paused before grinning sheepishly. "Though I'll probably still hex the slimy git whenever I get the chance."

Harry shook his head as he bit his bottom lip, desperately fighting back his tears. "Why?" He choked out as he looked at the gentle friend before him.

Ron just shrugged at him. "Why not?" He smiled before looking at him with a serious expression. "You can be so blind when it comes to your own happiness you know? Always looking after everyone else's needs before seeing that you also have needs and wants juts like the rest of us… even if you like to pretend you don't." He sighed and pulled Harry close as he rubbed soothing circles on the raven haired boy's back. "Please Harry… you don't have to act anymore… just be you."

Harry sobbed silently then as he took the comfort that was offered to him, feeling guilty for it all the while. He wondered if his Ron had thought this way, if both him and Hermione had once done the same thing for him.

He'll never know now, just like their Harry would never know just how much he had been cared for.

Instead in the dark dorm he cried, all the while shouting out how sorry he was in his mind, all the while desperately wishing that he didn't have to hurt them; that he could be who they wanted him to be.

And all the while knowing he would fail them no matter how hard he tried not to.

'Please… please forgive me for this… I'm so sorry…'

* * *

_Lilly smiled fondly as she watched her husband play with Harry. The small boy was growing up so fast and it felt like if she should just blink he would be off to Hogwarts without any warning. _

_"Mummy!" A loud voice shouted out happily before a small form came tumbling after her._

_Laughing she bent down and opened her arms wide to accept the small messy haired form of her son._

_The boy giggled as he hugged her tightly with James watching on, love and adoration evident in his smiling features._

_"I love you mummy."_

_She smiled and hugged her son close. "I love you too darling."_

_"No matter what?"_

_She laughed and tickled the small boy. "No matter what."_

_The small boy stilled then. Familiar emerald orbs seemed to dim as they looked at her before he smiled sadly. "I'm sorry mummy."_

_She frowned in confusion. "Why-"_

_He shook his head and stepped away from her. She watched in shock as their home started to blur away before her. The small boy looked at her sadly before turning and walking away._

_A dark feeling settled in her chest as she watched her baby disappear before her eyes. She tried to move after him but found in her horror that she couldn't._

_"Harry?" She called out to the dark abyss surrounding her. "Harry!"_

_Her eyes closed as her worry and fear grew._

_"Mum?"_

_They were in a garden now. The smell of roses and lilacs seemed to permeate the hot summer air around them. She opened her eyes and sighed in relief when she saw her son. He was dressed in his Hogwarts robes just staring at the flowers surrounding them with an unreadable expression before looking at her and smiling._

_"You know… I always used to love it when you took me out to see the gardens you helped create… they were all so pretty and smelled nice." He grinned at her before playing with a white rose petal. "But I think I loved it the most because it was the only time I got to spend with you where we didn't have to worry about appearances and could be as dirty as we wanted, could just act however we wanted…"He sighed sadly and let the flower petal drop. "It's odd the things you miss most…"_

_He looked up at her then. "I… there's so much I want to tell you… but I can't." He shrugged helplessly and chuckled. "The words just won't come out."_

_Lily stared at her son in concern and worry. "I… Oh Harry…"_

_Harry sighed and ran a hand through his hair before looking at her with a determined yet lost expression. "Mum… will you always love me… no matter what?"_

_She walked towards him before she even realized what she was doing. Holding her son close her heart started to pound less with fear as she felt how real and solid he was, she was holding her son and nothing could change that. She hugged him tighter before pressing a kiss to his brow. "I'll always love you Harry… you will always be so loved, so very loved."_

_Slowly he returned the hug and hid his face in her robes as he did so. "I'm so sorry mum…"_

_"Oh Harry…" She lovingly ran a hand through his hair. "There's nothing for you to be sorry about."_

_He shook his head before looking at her with a pained expression. "There is… there's so much to be sorry about…" He swallowed painfully before continuing. "Can you promise me something? Please?"_

_She frowned but nodded at him, making him sigh in relief._

_"Take care of hi-me, Merlin knows I need it…" He seemed to mumble to himself before turning his attention back to her. "Just hug me and tell me all those stories you would tell me as kid… and just… just…don't let me go?" He tried to grin at her but it failed hopelessly when she saw his sorrow filled eye. "Make sure you don't let me go alright?"_

_Lilly looked at him in utter confusion. "Harry I-"_

_The world shifted again and this time she felt herself falling as the darkness surrounded her once more. An overwhelming feeling of loss filled her and she struggled to breathe as the pain spread to her chest. She started to sob as she fell, not knowing why she was crying but crying all the same in unexplainable loss and sorrow._

_"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry mum…"_

Emerald eyes burst open as she gasped and looked around the room in a blind panic.

"James?" She looked at her slumbering husband and started to desperately shake him awake. "James!"

He woke up with a start before frowning at the look of panic on her features. "Lilly wha-"

"I want to go to Hogwarts! Harry! I need to see my baby!" Tears started filling up her eyes as she thought of her dream, a dream that had felt so real yet had been so painful.

She couldn't stop thinking of her son's expression, of how he had been acting.

Somehow it had felt like a goodbye...

She started to sob as she looked at her now panicked husband. "I want to see my baby!"

He moved quickly and wrapped his arms around her as he tried to calm her down. "Shh Shh he's alright Lills, he's safe, our boy is safe now."

She shook her head as she sobbed against him. "Then why doesn't it feel that way?! I need to see him please James!"

He started to rock her softly as she grew more hysterical. "Shh calm down Lily flower, we'll go in the morning, we'll see him then." He pressed a loving kiss to both of her tear filled eyes.

She sobbed as she tried to take a deep breath to calm herself with. "I… I hate that we don't know who took him! I keep having nightmares thinking that he'll disappear again! I hate this James! I hate it!"

He closed his eyes in pain as he held her. "I hate it too love." He looked up at the ceiling, his mind filled with thoughts on why it had all happened, why his son.

"I hate it too…"

* * *

**_A/N: _**_The first thing I wanted to mention before I get a lot of messages about how odd Harry was acting in the beginning. The first part was the Alt or other Harry's POV, in other words, not the one we all love and are used to. Bit by bit what happened to him will start coming out along with a few memories of him for those curious about the difference between him and our Harry. Also a big difference and note, as you've probably noticed, other Harry was straight, this will come more into play later but I just want to mention now before I get a barrage of messages, this story will eventually (really eventually) be slash; in other words, while the original Harry may have been straight and in love with Ginny, the one who we're following is gay and will eventually become involved with someone. And while he may seem affectionate with girls every now and then, it's just because I really enjoy him having someone to comfort him regardless of gender. If that upsets you in any way I do apologize but I do plan for him to eventually have a partner._

_Ron is growing up in this story much quicker in canon, he's been protecting Harry for a long time here and it really struck a chord with him having his best friend taken and then brought back all bloodied and close to death. So there will be times where he will act surprisingly mature for his age but since he's still only fourteen there will be times where once again he'll be a prat and act like a kid._

_We can't all grow up in a moment and I don't expect any of them too either, bit by bit they're grow up and change, but for now in their troubled youth it'll be a mix of maturity and childlike naivety._

_Also, I just wasn't a fan of how often Ron left Harry in the books and just wanted him to be more loyal… so yes, Ron will be sticking around but won't be too different from the one we all enjoyed._

_I'm honestly not sure what else I need to mention, if anyone feels I've forgotten something feel free to message me so I can either add it here or just explain in a message._

_Unless things get changed about the next chapter will finally be the first challenge of the Twiwizard tournament! I've prepared a bit of a surprise for it which I hope you all come to enjoy!_

_Also please leave a review if you've enjoyed the chapter, they always make me so happy to see!_

_Thank you…_

_Till next time._


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